tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4717327480566985232024-03-13T18:54:42.591-04:00The MamaFesto~ where feminism and motherhood meet ~A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.comBlogger94125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-7049670698144053762011-09-21T10:27:00.000-04:002011-09-21T10:27:05.243-04:00THE MAMAFESTO HAS MOVED!If you're wondering about the lack of posts lately, it's because The Mamafesto has moved. We're now being powered by Wordpress instead of blogger and <b><a href="http://themamafesto.wordpress.com/">you can find us there</a></b>. You should be able to subscribe vis email or RSS over at WP as well, and can still find us via <a href="http://www.TheMamafesto.com/">www.TheMamafesto.com</a>.A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-90673821962280377852011-09-15T08:00:00.001-04:002011-09-15T13:32:20.406-04:00As Cool As I Am...Earlier this week I wrote a guest post for Be Cool Boys on being...well, what else? <a href="http://www.boysbecool.com/cool.html">Cool.</a><br />
<br />
And you know what?<br />
<br />
I felt a little bit like a fraud.<br />
<br />
Oh, sure - I whole heartedly believe in what I wrote about...about how being "cool" is all about feeling confident in yourself and your choices. I continue to preach this message to EZ in the hopes that he'll internalize it and it will be come <i>his</i> reality.<br />
<br />
But <i>my</i> reality?<br />
<br />
I still remember middle school and high school.<br />
<br />
I remember having to wear a turtleneck underneath my genie costume on Halloween and how that one piece of fabric immediately zapped all bits of "cool" from it.<br />
<br />
I remember my mom getting me the wrong kinds of leggings in middle school. She got me a pair with elastic footing, when all the "cool girls" were wearing ones that stopped right at your ankle.<br />
<br />
I remember having glasses <b>and</b> braces in 9th grade and how I was certain that was the end of my social life (before it even began).<br />
<br />
I remember only being able to shop at The Gap when they had big sales, and feeling that my "coolness" level somehow shot up 10 points the days I wore my clothes from there.<br />
<br />
And looking back? Those moments kind of sucked. But then...<br />
<br />
I also remember going to the salon only days before high school graduation and having my hair sheared off, leaving me with less than 2 inches of crazy curls and loving the freeing feeling that accompanied it.<br />
<br />
I remember rocking a candy necklace as jewelry, and not even caring that it wasn't the silver or gold others sported.<br />
<br />
I also remember shopping with friends at a vintage store for my prom dress and rocking the heck out of a strapless, sea-foam green, taffeta dress while everyone else wore variations on short & sexy.<br />
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<br />
And today, at 31, I go back and forth between the whole <i>cool</i> thing. I try to live what I shared with EZ. I try to project the confidence that I feel. But that can be tricky when I falter, seeing other moms in fashionable clothes, having it all together while I barely stumble through with a semi clean shirt and pair of jeans. (oh...that perfect mom myth is constantly my undoing!)<br />
<br />
We all have off days, but most days I'm "on." I follow my own trends and style (which really is lack-of-style, but I own it, and that's cool...with me). I figure it's had to have made some sort of impact on EZ who rocks his own unique style of clothes. If we could just instill the notion that confidence = cool, then maybe we'd all have a lot more "on" days.<br />
<br />
*I'd be remiss if I didn't include the fantabulous song from which I stole this blog title from...let it be the anthem for this post. No fear. Embrace the cool. (and really, despite the perfect or flawed outside...aren't we all somewhat similar inside?)<br />
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A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-2038582363306622202011-09-15T08:00:00.000-04:002011-09-15T08:39:44.048-04:00This Is What A Feminist Looks Like: Liz<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Name: </span></b> Liz Crossen<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Age:</span></b> 23<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Occupation:</span></b> Full-time Student; Server; Teacher’s Assistant; Research Assistant<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Location:</span></b> Central PA<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimiJXnKZRVJluUz4vbWfM8vAW5PEFFptSazkgICtw99aUsEIi8ujrQvXDlrX4dp9h_FtbPtE51z2BzgfYphPHbp-LfmBqCCpiUrjo41fRKzZtBWf6fvPP-eHgkyo6UsVyzmauGoUV6QM8/s1600/-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimiJXnKZRVJluUz4vbWfM8vAW5PEFFptSazkgICtw99aUsEIi8ujrQvXDlrX4dp9h_FtbPtE51z2BzgfYphPHbp-LfmBqCCpiUrjo41fRKzZtBWf6fvPP-eHgkyo6UsVyzmauGoUV6QM8/s400/-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Liz & her sons</td></tr>
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<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><i><b>How do you define feminism?</b></i></span> <br />
Feminism has taken on different meanings to different women in different historical and social contexts. As there is no blanket definition or experience of womanhood, so too there is no blanket understanding or goal of feminism. It is not a single oppression, ideology, or experience that makes up the whole of feminism, but instead it is the fragments, the discontents, the demand for recognition of the myriad voice and experience that shapes a woman’s experience, only then connecting it to the larger context. For me, when thinking of or discussing feminism and women, we must always say “which women?”<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">When did you 1st identify as a feminist?</span></i></b> <br />
Oh, probably when I was very young. I think my generation, raised largely with the privileges fought so hard for by the previous generations, largely shies from defining as feminist. We tend to see these privileges as entitlements without understanding how fragile they are. So, growing up in a middle-class household where my sister and I were both given only our mother’s last name, both of my parents held advanced degrees and worked full time, “free choices” like abortion, birth control, work and educational opportunities, motherhood and all the aspects of it, etc were there for me without question, to take or leave as my own individual right. I believe I actually adopted the title for myself at 14 or 15.<br />
<br />
<i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Has your (definition of) feminism changed over time? How? </span></b></i> <br />
My definition has absolutely changed, indeed quite significantly. For quite sometime, my personal feminism and what I believed feminism to be was this ideology of choice, an ideology so strongly entangled with American individualist rhetoric. I never really considered who could make these “choices” and this was in part because I could, I had the privilege of choice. I saw women as women who shared similar oppressions and the same oppressor without much complexity. Like so many women, my life experiences have shaped my relationship with feminism.<br />
<br />
I had my first son when I was a junior in high school, eleven days after my 17th birthday. I had a guidance counselor who really did not want me in school, she wanted me to drop out, and I was only able to fight her coercion for so long. I finished out my junior year and got my GED that August. Leaving high school was incredibly discouraging and at that time, I gave up on higher education. I began apprenticing to be a homebirth midwife and that combined with new motherhood really gave me a feminist identity centered around choice more than ever before. Motherhood- my own, my mother’s, and the women I worked with- became my world, defining my feminism in black and white. I thought feminist motherhood was breastfeeding, homebirth or natural birth, organic foods, and even staying home as opposed to working out of the home. My mother told me I needed to go to school, get a degree, put my son in day care, and be able to support my son and myself if and when I left his father, who was becoming increasingly selfish and abusive. Along with some other dramatic life changes, my apprenticeship ended abruptly and bitterly, my future seemed to vanish. I needed a paying job, I needed to leave the boys’ father, and I began (very slowly!) gaining confidence to start school and choice gave way to necessity.<br />
<br />
My feminism now has so little to do with choice. It is about my privileges and how those privileges contribute to the disadvantage of others. I am much more aware now that I have feet planted in two worlds, as many of us do and that we can be as much the oppressor as we are the oppressed.<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Have you ever experienced resistance to identifying as a feminist? If so, why do you think that is and how do you handle it? </span></i></b><br />
I actually struggle some with openly identifying as a feminist because the negative connotations associated with it can close off possibilities for creating change before they even begin. When I say this, I am talking less about distancing myself from the angry, bitter, man-hating stereotypes and more the privileged, white-washed feminism that so frequently has and does dominate the mainstream. A lot of people believe feminism is not for them because issues most publicized like the pay-wage gap or “the mommy wars” for example mean little when you’re earning minimum wage and the concern is if you can put food on the table, not what food gets put on the table. So, I tend to discuss feminist issues, do feminist research, and be a feminist without first calling it or myself such.<br />
<br />
<i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">What do you see as the future of feminism? </span></b></i><br />
I think with the increasingly conservative climate and serious economic issues in the US, there will likely, hopefully be a surge in feminist activism on a larger level. What we must remember and I fear we are going to learn the hard way is that any right we have was not handed to us and it is not an entitlement; these rights can be taken, they are being taken. I am not just talking about women because it is those who are not in power (those of us who are not white, upper/middle-class, heterosexual men) whose rights are the most fragile and the first to be taken, if they are not an illusion altogether. Social movements are born of necessity and it is hard to imagine how things could become more dire than now, though I know it can and I fear that is what it will take to force us from this place of passivity and compliance.<br />
<br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Liz is a mom to two boys, Makena age six and Judah age four, co-parenting with her partner Sarah, a dog named Solomon, and a cat named Wietzie Bat. She is about to finish her undergraduate degrees in Women Studies and Sociology with a minor in African American Studies and then hoof it to grad school.</span></i><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br /></i></span><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;">If you would like to participate in this series, please</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"><a href="mailto:themamafesto@gmail.com"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">contact me</span></a></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;">for more details! </span></span></span></i>A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-36748853966361664592011-09-13T11:49:00.003-04:002011-09-13T13:45:55.031-04:00Diamonds & Hammers...Oh My.Because pushing stereotypical gender toys to toddlers wasn't starting early enough, Fisher Price has come out with a set of rattles, marketed towards babies ages 3-18 months.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7U0A6pi7jaCRiT0tE_Br9B19BhnvMslpYT24cS-tzw2LWOj53PN0dZe6wIuRywWMHnoImcgLHmKpK3q1vzaeYaUvuCkwSYIR2VAacw4IhQ3LKY7tsWQgthpDwf1STt9lssyWWdLezBAA/s1600/296557_10150381091575482_629635481_10408275_1558583221_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="285" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7U0A6pi7jaCRiT0tE_Br9B19BhnvMslpYT24cS-tzw2LWOj53PN0dZe6wIuRywWMHnoImcgLHmKpK3q1vzaeYaUvuCkwSYIR2VAacw4IhQ3LKY7tsWQgthpDwf1STt9lssyWWdLezBAA/s400/296557_10150381091575482_629635481_10408275_1558583221_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
Am I shocked or surprised?<br />
<br />
No.<br />
<br />
Am I disappointed?<br />
<br />
Yes.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.princessfreezone.com/pfz-blog/2011/9/12/rattles-and-the-beginning-of-gender-stereotyping.html">Princess Free Zone</a> has already written up a well-thought out post explaining all the reasons these rattles are feeding into the problem of gender stereotypes (and nicely addresses the "So What?" argument I hear way too frequently).<br />
<br />
Of course, I couldn't help but add my own two cents:<br />
<br />
Let's break this down quickly. For anyone who has a kid (or anyone with a lick of sense), we know that a 3 month old isn't going to be swayed one way or another based upon a rattle. An infant girl isn't going to play with her faux diamond, pink, plastic rattle and cement her membership in the girly-girl club, nor will an infant boy demand a trip to Home Depot for some tools of his own after gnawing on his hammer rattle.<br />
<br />
So why am I getting so riled up about this?<br />
<br />
It's because of the fact that Fisher Price feels that babies this young are already categorized by gender and should be catered to as such. They compound the issue with the accompanying phrases on the packaging.<br />
<br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;">Sweet Baby Girl <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">vs.</span></span> </span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;">Busy Baby Boy</span></i><br />
<br />
These just play into the falsehood of how some of society views babies: Sweet, docile baby girls versus loud, active baby boys. Toys that reinforce this notion simply perpetuate the falsehood.<br />
<br />
I'll let Fisher Price in on a little secret...a 3 month old baby girl has no real concept that she's playing with a faux diamond rattle. In fact, she has no idea of the weight that little rattle in her hand actually possesses. Yet, as she grows up, those ideals will continue to be reinforced, over and over again - through toys, clothes, TV shows, movies, and more, until she gets to the point where she starts to buy into it, whether she truly believes in it or not.<br />
<br />
Our kid's will be inundated with stereotypical gender messages throughout their entire childhood. Being a new parent is exhausting enough, do we really need to tire ourselves further by dealing with gender stereotypes this early out of the gate?<br />
<br />
There are plenty of other options out there...<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiufLVuKyZhZw0J7pFD91Wlj50i7CHFBlP5IM4SCxx-77QWzvAbBBiSvamV5BktMQYLmgbAEfeAiAF1BgeX3Xmkea8zt-kD7LiSmu9w3oHB_u-P6oHDL7ddr_wzh-rxSZkZXY32DQ7i9t8/s1600/DSCN2603-1.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiufLVuKyZhZw0J7pFD91Wlj50i7CHFBlP5IM4SCxx-77QWzvAbBBiSvamV5BktMQYLmgbAEfeAiAF1BgeX3Xmkea8zt-kD7LiSmu9w3oHB_u-P6oHDL7ddr_wzh-rxSZkZXY32DQ7i9t8/s400/DSCN2603-1.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">EZ chomping on a wooden rattle at 3 months old. No diamonds or hammers here!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
And really, the mama in me is also kind of against these types of toys in general because...why? Why do babies need all this <i>stuff</i> (another post for another time, to be sure).<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOF_8Gcw0em0mE8K3T8mwqBOLXkt6DHbnJywOFq32FO7tdL8-O7dDN4Hy6YXRjV1H6kc4P7bLqeogObrJ6_WITIXFrveityPR4-_zdtI5p7Aayzbe1J9mVWj3XeFSFvvKuxqfde9URVwE/s1600/DSCN3523.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOF_8Gcw0em0mE8K3T8mwqBOLXkt6DHbnJywOFq32FO7tdL8-O7dDN4Hy6YXRjV1H6kc4P7bLqeogObrJ6_WITIXFrveityPR4-_zdtI5p7Aayzbe1J9mVWj3XeFSFvvKuxqfde9URVwE/s400/DSCN3523.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">EZ playing with a favorite "toy" - a spoon.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Our consumerist culture has pushed us to the point where diamond rattles for 3 month old baby girls is somehow acceptable. If trends like these catch on, I'm almost fearful of what comes next...<br />
<br />
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(Toy manufacturers...please don't see that last sentence as a challenge. Really.)</div>
A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-5279698212088874572011-09-13T08:00:00.000-04:002011-09-13T13:45:35.314-04:00This Is What A Feminist Looks Like: Avory<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Name: </span></b>Judith Avory Faucette<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Age: </span></b>26<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b>Occupation:</b></span> blogger/writer/activist/non-profit professional<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Location:</span></b> Baltimore, MD/Washington, DC<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw0B-CaiFrtoRSOj9DwYbunuL8F0Ltbklvy7eyXZi5JJtJ77ZaYa7VYr_yzY8RzFVVJ-QmYTLrevI5hOfEmY_U-scb8GAPc-rvLw_3AOXw0bIbn3Lpwb5O5lONH7htH7Bruaa7Sr3py_M/s1600/-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw0B-CaiFrtoRSOj9DwYbunuL8F0Ltbklvy7eyXZi5JJtJ77ZaYa7VYr_yzY8RzFVVJ-QmYTLrevI5hOfEmY_U-scb8GAPc-rvLw_3AOXw0bIbn3Lpwb5O5lONH7htH7Bruaa7Sr3py_M/s320/-1.jpg" width="237" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Avory</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><i><b>How do you define feminism? </b></i></span><br />
My personal definition of feminism is "radical opposition to patriarchy." This is a little different from the typical man/woman centered definition, since I'm not binary-gendered myself, and I also think that it's more logical to talk about feminism in all its incarnations by centering the discussion around patriarchy. Patriarchy is a big, underlying structure that hurts us in so many ways. Although it's "male," it isn't just about men--it's about things like narrowly defining gender, limiting ways to practice masculinity and femininity, and depending on binary identities, as well as institutionalized racism, incarceration, oppression, xenophobia, colonialism, war, and many other "big bads." I use the phrase "radical opposition" because it's very difficult to practice feminism without attacking the underlying structures of society. My feminism is about boldly challenging the media, educational institutions, the military-industrial complex, and the government. A couple of years ago, I renamed my blog Radically Queer to reflect this focus to my feminism.<br />
<br />
<i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">When did you first identify as a feminist? </span></b></i><br />
I didn't claim a feminist identity until midway through law school, in my early twenties. I had a very narrow understanding of feminism, as something that was mostly about equal pay and related issues. Over time, I started to engage online and learned that feminists were digging into all sorts of issues of interest to me, from queer cultures to the rights of women of color to activism for pregnant women to anti-poverty and prison abolition work. The anthology Yes Means Yes (eds. Jaclyn Friedman and Jessica Valenti) was my feminist "click" moment, when I started to see how misogyny and patriarchy have operated unseen underneath my life pretty much from Day One. <br />
<br />
<i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Has your (definition of) feminism changed over time? How? </span></b></i><br />
Yes. As you can see from the above two questions, it's become broader. As my own gender identity has shifted from female to genderqueer, I've started to understand how "gender" isn't just about men and women, and how patriarchy is damaging to everyone. Of course, simple sexism does occur, but I think it's important for feminists to focus on the most marginalized people in our communities, including queer people, trans people, people of color, immigrants, poor people, people with disabilities, incarcerated people, etc. <br />
<br />
<i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Have you ever experienced resistance to identifying as a feminist? If so, why do you think that is and how do you handle it? </span></b></i><br />
I've actually experienced more resistance from social justice folks than from what I'd call "anti-feminists." At first, I would say things like "I think you probably are a feminist but just don't realize what feminism is doing now." I've changed my tune, because although a lot of feminists are focused on racism and classism and imperialism and queer/trans issues, there are also a lot of upper-middle-class young white women in Brooklyn who operate the big feminist websites, and some (not all) of those women have said some pretty shitty things about marginalized communities. So now I'm more encouraging of people doing great work, whatever they identify as, and I specifically identify myself as a queer feminist or radical feminist, because that's an important distinction for me.<br />
<br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b>What do you see as the future of feminism?</b> </span></i><br />
I hope that feminism will continue to focus on marginalized communities and intersections with other areas of social justice work. I also hope that feminists with resources will put funding towards the great grassroots work that's going on all over the world in local communities, and that we'll continue to challenge each other when we make a faux pas. I also hope that feminism becomes more sustainable, that it's something we can make a full time job of if we so choose.<br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Judith Avory Faucette is a queer feminist legal activist and the voice behind the blog <a href="http://radicallyqueer.wordpress.com/">Radically Queer</a>. Avory also runs Girl w/ Pen and writes a monthly column at <a href="http://www.genderacrossborders.com/">Gender Across Borders</a>. Zie is published in the Journal of Gender, Race, and Justice and has a JD from the University of Iowa. Zie writes and speaks about queer feminism, international human rights, sexuality and the law, and non-binary genders. You can follow hir work </span></i><a href="http://twitter.com/#!/queerscholar"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><b>@queerscholar</b></span></i></a><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><b> </b>on Twitter.</span></i><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;">If you would like to participate in this series, please</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"><a href="mailto:themamafesto@gmail.com"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">contact me</span></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;">for more details! </span>A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-86094114124389770722011-09-12T10:00:00.000-04:002011-09-12T10:00:26.489-04:00Quick Hit: Peter & JaneMy folks have been renovating their house, which in turn means lots of boxes and bags of stuff end up at my house because, "<s>we don't want in anymore - get rid of it!</s> we thought you'd like it."<br />
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And for the most part, I do! They've given us a bunch of great cookbooks and a ton of books that either my brother or I used to read all the time. However, in the latest batch of books I found this gem:<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A reading primer from 1964 that I had never seen before.</td></tr>
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My love for all things nostalgic kicked in and I immediately started flipping through it, leaving the pile of <i>Curious Georg</i>e and <i>Magic School Bus</i> books to be sorted through later.<br />
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It's not that I'm surprised, really. I kind of assumed Peter and Jane were going to hit those stereotypical gender roles over our heads something fierce, but I held out a little hope that maybe...just maybe, Jane would toss on a pair of overalls and Peter would pick out a stuffed puppy.<br />
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Thankfully, only five minutes after I had flipped through <u>Play With Us</u>, EZ ran up to me and insisted we read from the stack of Eric Carle books that had also shown up in this particular box from my mom.<br />
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Bugs in my kids literature? Sure. <i>That,</i> I can get behind.A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-42942876627788393152011-09-08T08:00:00.000-04:002011-09-08T11:31:06.331-04:00How To Make A Baby<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">This guest post was written by a friend who is frustrated, angry and tired over a process this is supposedly there to help her. She wanted a platform to share her story and I was more than willing to do what I could. While creating a baby for some is as easy as one fun night, for others it's not as simple. And for other's yet, it's a painstaking journey...</span></span></i><br />
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We have been going through this crazy process to try to make a baby—build our family. We are two thirty-something women, who have been together for over 11 years, married for over 5 years, own our own house (or at least the bank does for another 20+ years), live in semi-rural New England with our two cats, have post-graduate degrees, and a huge community of loving friends and family that support us from one mile down the road to the West Coast, across the globe, and many places in between. We are financially stable, have good professions, physically healthy, and emotionally (in general) stable. We are culturally Jewish and identify with spiritual teachings from many religions, including Judaism. We have a garden that can sometimes successfully group tomatoes and squash, and we often forget, or simply don’t make the time, to weed.<br />
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Our lives have included their fair share of strife and difficulties, just like many, if not most, other people; and at times we have dealt with it better than others. But trying to make a baby has been no small feat. First off- we had to decide on where we would get our sperm. After debating known versus anonymous donor, we opted for a cousin, so that our child would be biologically related to both of us. I am going to be the birth mother with my partner’s cousin’s sperm. We had only the most positive experience and response when discussing this with her cousin- him wanting nothing more than to help us have children. I am ever so grateful for his loving kindness. Now to get the sperm to my egg… he lives out of town, so if he isn’t in town, we have it shipped, overnight, in a kit that keeps it viable for 24-48 hours (thank you gayspermbank.com).<br />
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Either we inseminate at home, or I go to my midwife who washes it, spins it, and inserts it past my cervix [Intrauterine Insemination (IUI)]. We know the timing, or hope we get the timing right, because I chart my temperatures and cycles daily, pee on ovulation predictor kits (OPKs) every so often, and sometime I even go and get an ultrasound to quadruple check. This is all because I am blessed with irregular cycles, for which they have found no known direct cause other than possibly Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), although blood tests do not confirm this diagnosis.<br />
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So we have been doing this for 20+ months. Friends I was trying to get pregnant with are celebrating their babies’ one-year birthdays. Please, don’t hear that as complaining- it is wonderful to celebrate their lives and it is also a reminder of how long and difficult this has all been.<br />
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We started with one midwifery clinic and had an awful, unprofessional experience there. One midwife reprimanded me (for what I still don’t understand), while I was in the stirrups butt naked. She ended up taking a leave and has retired early—something that validates my experience and saddens me for her difficulties. We switched to another midwife center and have received loving, compassionate, and accepting care. I text my midwife when I get a positive OPK and we schedule via texting. We share 1-2 hours a month while she cleans the sperm and I warm the wash.<br />
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After six months of trying on our own and 14 months of IUIs, we decided to consult a the local hospital’s reproductive medicine center to see what our next options were. Having completed one cycle of clomid that made me feel so crazy that I thought I was going to jump off a bridge, I needed to know other options. We met with Dr. L, who immediately told us what my health insurance would cover before laying an eye on me. We told her we had a known donor who had been tested for STIs and HIV and with whom I had been inseminating with for 20 months. She commented, “You know we don’t like that here.” She did not look at my charts, my cycles, my medical history, or my wife in the eye. She told us to go right to IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) and switch to an anonymous donor because it would be more efficient. As if our donor decision has not been well thought out and emotionally involved.<br />
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Dr. L stated numerous excuses as to why they would not work with us with a known donor unless we quarantined the sperm ($) at a sperm bank ($$) for six months to test it twice ($$$) for STIs, and then freeze the sperm and ship it ($$$$) to their facility. She said it was a waste to do it that way because it would cost over $5,000. [Which at this point in time I would pay $5k for a child in a heartbeat.] I will comment that the actual cost of this is more like $3,000, but the fact that it is put off for six months just because I am not married to him feels ridiculous. Dr. L explained that due to the guidelines that the hospital follows, while a heterosexual couple could move immediately to IVF, a lesbian couple has to quarantine the sperm for six months, even if the individual has been exposed to the sperm prior to IVF. Basically, if I had to come to the clinic with just the donor and we said we wanted to have a child I would have moved to IVF IMMEDIATELY without having to pay any such sperm bank costs.<br />
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We argued these points, but to no avail. We were met with even more blatant discrimination (oh did you know, by the way, that sperm banks certified by the ASRM [American Society of Reproductive Medicine]- which this clinic only accepted sperm from- you can’t be a gay male—or rather you can’t have had sex with a male in the past 5 years. There are hundreds of other rules too about being out of the country, so on and so forth, but having sex with a male was #1). Then there was Dr. L’s comment about how we needed to go to counseling (I’m a psychologist) to deal with our “issue.” I inquired about the subject of “issue”—my infertility or the way we are choosing to make our family and was told the latter. And don’t let me forget the moment where my wife told the doctor that we knew it was not her intention exactly, but we felt discriminated against by her actions. She replied, “It’s okay for you to feel that way.”<br />
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Dr. L claimed that they could not separate the social (my state-recognized marriage) from the medical (my inseminations with the donor) because they had a “moral obligation.” She explained this with an example of a family in which children had been removed from the home and how the hospital would have a moral obligation not to offer that couple IVF. We, as two women with a known donor, were being compared to a family in which children were removed from the home for abuse and/or neglect. This was Dr. L’s attempt to have a “mutual agreement” as to why the hospital would eventually deny us equal services that would have been offered had I been a married heterosexual woman, a single woman with a male partner, or had I simply just come in with the donor and said that we wanted to have a child (a.k.a. lied—kind of like we are forced to do on our federal tax forms, but I digress…).<br />
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Needless to say, they denied us services for what we believe is discrimination based on how we are choosing to create a family. She neglected to send us her policies as we requested and it took over four weeks for me to get a copy of the records I requested and testing I had done there. They charged me $3.25 for the copies after billing my insurance company over $1,000 for the two 30-minute visits and even more for testing. (I had a Hysterosalpingogram [HSG] done and while they gave me a time to arrive, they took me 90 minutes later than my scheduled time. When I inquired, I was told to take deep breaths and relax (have I mentioned I am also a trained yoga instructor?), even though a sign in the waiting room stated “if you are not taken within 15 minutes of your scheduled appointment, please inquire with the receptionist.” Oh, and I was told to take 800 mg of Ibprofen 30-minutes before the procedure which I was now concerned was beginning to wear off.)<br />
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Finally we are done with this clinic, and while we are considering letter writing or letters to the editor, we cannot expend our energy on it until we have a child. We really just want a baby - one that is of both of our genetics, and for some reason this is so confusing to the reproductive medicine center at our local hospital.<br />
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So we try a second reproductive clinic. This one is two hours away with a satellite office one hour away. We don’t hesitate to go. We are treated with significantly more respect—find out that the owner/medical director is an out gay male—and are allowed to more forward with IVF, with just a few stipulations. 1) We need a contract by a lawyer, reviewed by my wife’s cousin’s lawyer, stating the financial/parental responsibility of the to be child; 2) the donor needs to attend one session of counseling to prove that he knows he is making this decision (have I mentioned that he is a scientist, his father a lawyer and his mother a psychologist?); 3) he needs to have blood tests, again, within 7 days of depositing his sample or “donation” if you will- he has to freeze his donation ($) so that they can ship it ($$) to our facility; 4) I need to have additional genetic testing and infectious disease screening, as well as proof that I have been vaccinated and/or exposed to a host of childhood diseases. I have already had 2 rounds of genetic testing, 3 rounds of hormonal panels, 2 rounds of thyroid panels, 2 rounds of glucose screening, 3 rounds of infectious disease screening, and 2 rounds of blood type screening; 5) I need to have a physical within one year of IVF- apparently they only really need to listen to my lungs and heart, and even though all the reproductive doctors are physicians (and wear stethoscopes around their necks), none can listen to my heart and lungs without a separate appointment; 6) pap smear within a year (thankfully I did that!); 7) hormonal panel on day three of cycle (done!); 8) uterus cavity examination (I have had not just one but two of these) and… screeching halt… 12 cycles of IUI with three cycles using follicular stimulating hormones. Well, even though I have been trying for 20 months, thus exposed to sperm for 20 months, there is a chance that my health insurance company won’t accept that and that they will only count IUIs and unfortunately I have only had 10. (Again, if I were hetero- no problemo!). Oh, and even though I ovulate on my own without difficulty (irregularly, but only 1 out of 18 cycles have been anovulatory), they want to stimulate the heck out of my ovaries so that my hormones are out of whack for the two months BEFORE IVF. I was recently put on an anti-diabetes drug (metformin) for the PCOS. I am hoping that the insurance company will count that because I start a new job next month and the following month my wife has ACL surgery, so I really don’t want to go crazy for all of that. (By the way, my mom has breast cancer and went through surgery, chemotherapy, and now radiation while I was going through all this, finishing a doctoral program, writing and defending a dissertation, my wife had her ski accident, and more people in my life died than I can easily count.) It has been a year of trauma, topped off with disappointment, frustrations, stress, and discrimination.<br />
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So here we are, I’m in weekly acupuncture, taking herbs, trying to prepare my body for an onslaught of hormones, waiting to hear what my insurance company, not my doctor or midwife, will dictate about my treatment. I have to get permission from more adults in power for making a wanted child and yet 16 year olds are not taught about protected intercourse and find themselves unknowingly and unwittingly pregnant with little support from anyone, let alone the FDA, ASRM, or any other institution. Why is the government so interested in making this so difficult for us but not in preventing children from mistakes that can’t be undone?<br />
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Yes, I am frustrated. I’m sure it is partially a mask for the sadness and monthly disappointment. I don’t know how much longer I can do this and yet I can’t imagine not having children. Three ideally, although I can’t see myself doing this part again. My new mom and pregnant friends have told me that the nine months feels like forever. At this point, it doesn’t feel so long.<br />
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I’m not saying that it should be perfectly easy for two women to have children. I’m the first to admit that this isn’t supposed to be simple. I chose to marry a woman (note language here) but I didn’t choose to be discriminated for it. I just think that Dr. L could have been kinder. It was so clear we made her uncomfortable—but I’m a human and like many others that she has helped get pregnant, I want a child. She wasn’t thinking of what my experience was because she was too stuck in her own discomfort to see past it to ours.<br />
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I never expected it to take this long and yet somehow I trust that when we finally have a child, it will all feel right that we had to wait this long. I know that there are children out there, whether born yet or just in spirit, that will choose us as parents. I just wish that institutions didn’t get in the way quite so much.<br />
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At this point, I would happily take twins because it would mean we were done with this process. Happily.<br />
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In closing, it has been emotionally tolling and draining—but it will all be worth it when we hold that child in our arms for the first time.<br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Abigail Levy, a pseudonym used by the author to protect her identity, is a psychotherapist and has been married to her spouse for 5 years. They reside in New England. A shorter version of Abigail's story originally appeared in <a href="http://www.therainbowtimesmass.com/2011/09012011/makingbaby.html"><b>The Rainbow Times</b></a>. </span></i>A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-25594660295720614322011-09-07T05:00:00.000-04:002011-09-07T05:00:00.795-04:00This Is What A Feminist Looks Like: Blue Milk<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Name:</span></b> blue milk<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Age:</span></b> 38<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Occupation: </span></b>Economist/Writer<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Location: </span></b>Australia<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXjEIPl6i1gKgZbecX62KopFdTA7oOyg31rccCchyRn7VGUZPBFVqvqS_evzZfD3MOPM4-pPD-rK1qrwgHVT5APUtFoPXmN9CuFMHnE6X4qWi0-6R06JPAxzsfPFReg5fb-ZvpNbVE1Q4/s1600/-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjXjEIPl6i1gKgZbecX62KopFdTA7oOyg31rccCchyRn7VGUZPBFVqvqS_evzZfD3MOPM4-pPD-rK1qrwgHVT5APUtFoPXmN9CuFMHnE6X4qWi0-6R06JPAxzsfPFReg5fb-ZvpNbVE1Q4/s1600/-1.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The blogger known as blue milk</td></tr>
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<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">How do you define feminism?</span></i></b><br />
The belief that men and women are equal combined with an understanding that there is a systematic form of oppression working against women. My friend has a definition that I like, too, and that is that feminism is any time a woman speaks the truth about herself and her life.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b><i>When did you first identify as a feminist?</i></b></span><br />
My first memory of actively identifying as a feminist was when I was about 12 or 13 years old. I saw an advertisement on television for men's deodorant and I remember trying to reject the sexism in that ad with my mother. Unfortunately my precocious feminism alarmed her - she'd been raised mostly by a single father and her own feminism wasn't all that pronounced at that time. And she was also, by then, a single parent herself (my father left us when I was about 10 years old); my mother had this fear of rearing "man-haters" on account of how difficult we were all finding our lives in a female-headed household in poverty. But my feminism must have come from somewhere and my mother has this sense about her that the rules don't necessarily apply to her, and in that I think she really fostered in me a belief that obstacles, including the patriarchy, could be overcome. <br />
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Without the resources to understand it properly at age 12, I think a whole lot of intersections of oppression suddenly became apparent to me and formed the basis of my feminism - poverty, bigotry, classism, ageism, homophobia, misogyny, sexism and .. sexual harassment, oh man, at around this same age I started receiving lots of unwanted sexual attention from men and boys and it was scary. It was also disorientating, because the sexual attention also presents as a kind of new power, and it's the first power you've ever really experienced with adults as a child, though of course ultimately it is a power mostly used against you. <br />
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(My feminism has taken years and years to really get to a point of understanding other intersections of oppression well, like racism and ableism and sizeism and transphobia. I am hoping to fast-track my children's awareness of privilege and oppression so they don't have to wait until they're nearly 40 to get all that).<br />
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<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Has your (definition of) feminism changed over time? How?</span></i></b><br />
I have become a lot less black and white about things, I see many many shades of grey in the world now. I think by the time you get to your late 30s you've surprised yourself (and perhaps, disappointed yourself, also) more than a few times with how you've responded to particular situations where you previously held very strong (hypothetical) views. And motherhood, my god, particularly if you're having babies in a heterosexual arrangement, you're almost certainly making compromises and choices and being judged in ways you never dreamed possible for yourself.<br />
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There are a couple of core feminist issues that I've flipped back and forth on so many times that I'm back to where I was 20 years ago - the sex industry is one of those. I probably started out with 'prostitution is exploitation' in my childhood and then I was 'sex worker supportive' by my late adolescence and then I was back to 'prostitution is exploitation' in my 30s and now in my late 30s I'm back to 'sex worker supportive'. In the end, as much as I believe that there are huge chunks of the sex industry that are terribly exploitative and that I would like magically ended tomorrow if it were possible, I still think any feminist approach to sex work has to have room for the different voices of sex workers, themselves - remember what I said about my definition of feminism being women speaking the truth about their lives? There is no denying that some workers don't find their jobs exploitative at all. I just cannot find justice in a feminism that discounts the voices of those women (and men). <br />
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This is one of the reasons why the Internet is a scary place to be a feminist - because your feminism probably naturally evolves but the Internet records everything. Take a position on something and you can never let that go, even when you change your mind years later.<br />
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<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Have you ever experienced resistance to identifying as a feminist? If so, why do you think that is and how do you handle it?</span></i></b><br />
All the time, identifying as feminist isn't easy - feminism represents agitation for a shift in the sharing of power and with that comes new 'winners' and new 'losers', there's a lot at stake, and some people will either outright oppose that or else be kind of terrified of it because it's change - but I have been identifying as feminist since I was a teenager so I can say that it does get easier with time and practisee. Plus, I have built myself this little feminist utopia so pretty much everyone I socialise with on and off-line is feminist or feminist-leaning and I misguidedly feel like the revolution is completely winning and I'm on the stronger side. Having said all that, I work in a very male-dominated workplace where being 'left-wing' can be a source of ridicule. Teasing is how Australians flirt (it is also how Australians bully so it isn't always friendly), and I have had years to get comfortable with being teased about my feminism. <br />
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And there's the thing with Australian men, they are quite chauvinist, it's true, but women are strong here, too; maybe because of that hyper-masculine culture we have to be, and as a result I think we punch above our weight as a country in terms of feminism. Also, in Australia, men socialise exclusively with their male friends a lot (that's why there is such an obsession with sport in this country) and women socialise a lot separately with their female friends, too, and in some ways I think this has actually provided fertile ground for feminism. Female friendships are highly valued by women, and so then solidarity and an understanding of common experiences happen as well. <br />
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<i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">What do you see as the future of feminism?</span></b></i><br />
A big part of the future of feminism is reconciling with and empowering motherhood, it is certainly the unfinished business of feminism. The motherhood movement will be at the forefront of the next wave of feminism, mark my words and check back with me in twenty-five years time. I'll bet I was right.<br />
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If you want to include any picture of yourself, please email me a link or file. if you have a bio (with links to your own website, twitter, etc...) feel free to include that as well!<br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">This writer is an economist who writes about motherhood from a feminist perspective, she is the author of the blog,<b> </b><a href="http://bluemilk.wordpress.com/"><b>blue milk</b></a><b>.</b> She has presented at conferences on motherhood, work and family, feminism, and social media; has written for magazines and newspapers, and has had her work quoted on television. She is a contributing author to the book, <a href="http://www.demeterpress.org/21CenturyMotherhood.html"><b>The 21st Century Motherhood Movement: Activist Mothers Speak Out On Why We Need To Change the World And How To Do It</b></a><b>.</b> She is also the mother of two children. She might sound like she has it together, but she so very much doesn’t. You can follow her on twitter <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/bluemilk"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">@bluemilk</span></b></a>.</span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><br /></span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;">If you would like to participate in this series, please</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"><a href="mailto:themamafesto@gmail.com"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">contact me</span></a></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;">for more details! </span></span></span></i>A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-21906775257390343422011-09-06T10:39:00.000-04:002011-09-06T10:39:13.410-04:00Back To School<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWMc2umHGkvV86kI_Aw7UdNyG9dLEZ4IwTJrtJ5YmMRSuqJqO0G1V9-2Vpj9_QLAgQzvTQiu0jma-RL7KBl9_NLsxSuipxFLICEOxb9ebK_VuPhjlppQ2ECpFBq1Wk7U2wrDf9-sPBYW8/s1600/IMG_1531.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWMc2umHGkvV86kI_Aw7UdNyG9dLEZ4IwTJrtJ5YmMRSuqJqO0G1V9-2Vpj9_QLAgQzvTQiu0jma-RL7KBl9_NLsxSuipxFLICEOxb9ebK_VuPhjlppQ2ECpFBq1Wk7U2wrDf9-sPBYW8/s400/IMG_1531.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Note the plethora of books in the butterfly net. He's ready.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Almost every day for the past week has started the same:<br />
<br />
"Do I get to go back to school today?"<br />
<br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">***</span></span></b></div>
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When EZ was around two and a half, we started making the rounds to various preschools in the area. We were less worried about getting him on the baby-genius track, and more concerned with giving him a few mornings a week to interact with his peers while mama got a few hours to regain her sanity. If he happened to learn anything while there, even better.</div>
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We're lucky to live in an area saturated with schools - private, public, charter - you name it, we've got it. Almost every educational philosophy is represented, and the choices really are limitless (as long as your bank account is limitless as well...).</div>
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I started off by checking out one preschool in particular, intrigued by what they seemed to offer. EZ is a January baby, making him just short of that supposedly magic 2.9-by-September cutoff that many preschools adhere to. Perhaps it was my mistake to look at schools who abide by that rule, but there we were, meeting with the director of the program anyway.</div>
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<br /></div>
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She watched as EZ played with some toys that were left out as she described the program to me. Then, she pulled me aside and said that while she'd love to have EZ attend, they are pretty strict with their age minimum.</div>
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Had the conversation ended there, I probably wouldn't have thought twice and possibly would have even sent him there the following year. </div>
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<br /></div>
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But then...</div>
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<br /></div>
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"And it's good anyway. That way, he'll be even older when he starts next year, making him on track with the other kids in the class, especially the girls."</div>
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<i>Excuse me? </i></div>
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Of course, I asked her to clarify.</div>
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She talked about how boys are naturally slower learners, how if he started this year he'd be behind and frustrated and wouldn't enjoy himself.</div>
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If I knew how to arch my eyebrow in that awesomely pointed way, I totally would have. Instead, I thanked her for her time, scooped up EZ, and left.</div>
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While I'm sure this director must have met students who fell into that description, she hadn't met EZ yet. Not really. She didn't know what he could or couldn't do, but because he's a boy, she already had a preconceived notion of what he was capable of.</div>
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And that totally sucked.</div>
<br />
Now granted, I know that all of our kids are special snowflakes and when they do something it's the bestest thing ever and better than any other little kid doing the same exact thing. <i>No, seriously, when EZ pooped in the potty for the 1st time, I almost held a parade</i><br />
<br />
But, for me, this is beyond being fiercely protective of my son because he's mine, and more about this general idea that boy are intellectually slower than girls that has seeped into our society (and by extension - school systems).<br />
<br />
I'm not suggesting that there aren't biological differences between boys and girls. I know there are. Books have been written about these difference <a href="http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/07/27/the-science-of-boys-and-girls/">suggesting they begin as early as the womb</a>, and studies are always looking at the <a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/womens-brains-uareu-different-from-mens-ndash-and-heres-scientific-proof-870849.html">differences between male and female brains</a>. However, regardless of the biological differences between the sexes, acting upon these theories in a way that could potentially affect them negatively in an educational setting makes me bristle.<br />
<br />
I want a teacher to look at my child and see his potential, and not rely on the generality that boys are slower learners - that already puts him at a disadvantage. It could be as subtle as not starting to work on reading or math sooner, or over compensating with over the top attention when he manages to do something correctly.<br />
<br />
In the end, we chose a school that happened to be a perfect fit. EZ's teachers look at him as an eager kid, full of questions and potential. They don't teach towards his gender, and in fact, in the two years that he's been there, not one teacher has made a comment about the supposed slow pace at which boys learn, or how he learns "as a boy." We've had discussions about his struggles with fine motor skills and his accomplishments in reading. Neither time were those skills, or lack thereof, connected to the fact that EZ is a boy. They were simply presented as "this is how your child is doing."<br />
<br />
This Friday, EZ <i>finally</i> goes back to school. He's beyond happy, and I'm thrilled knowing he'll be walking into a classroom that views him as an individual, rather than a sum of his parts.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcjShl53Q8K1E2YvIQDJ6CD07Y2rQ0_putVNf2F-7zb5sE6_fGYSi1L-I-BMFtXYG8QBjNBn6xMwXBOxAj_rJKID-6lCMDJwVV96SPwVTMyPqNYDH27kLabEP2t78Wm7QCC8u8yi0bLvI/s1600/IMG_0514.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcjShl53Q8K1E2YvIQDJ6CD07Y2rQ0_putVNf2F-7zb5sE6_fGYSi1L-I-BMFtXYG8QBjNBn6xMwXBOxAj_rJKID-6lCMDJwVV96SPwVTMyPqNYDH27kLabEP2t78Wm7QCC8u8yi0bLvI/s400/IMG_0514.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">EZ at his birthday celebration (blowing out the "sun") at school last year</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-80109658406230302812011-09-05T05:00:00.000-04:002011-09-05T05:00:04.778-04:00This Is What A Feminist Looks Like: Julia<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Name:</span></b> Julia Famularo<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b>Age:</b></span> 30<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Occupation:</span></b> doctoral student<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Location: </span></b>Connecticut/Washington DC/Asia<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Any other relevant tidbits you'd care to share:</span></b> news junkie, musician, adventurer<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlfN0f9kPYLch-oOdiklmH_b54_T_5q85sxpk0EX5CzGmqfdxEkmqkuW9_sDkjbTlyCp7sAQU-yFFCVolDpRSBqYM0fUKKCL7fvZTKB3vuXvDGlT5aS3QOsUfZ-q_TMqQ4evsYD0DQW8w/s1600/-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlfN0f9kPYLch-oOdiklmH_b54_T_5q85sxpk0EX5CzGmqfdxEkmqkuW9_sDkjbTlyCp7sAQU-yFFCVolDpRSBqYM0fUKKCL7fvZTKB3vuXvDGlT5aS3QOsUfZ-q_TMqQ4evsYD0DQW8w/s400/-2.jpg" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Julia, wielding her lasso of truth since 4 years old</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><i>How do you define feminism? </i></span></b><br />
An innate belief that women deserve the same rights and privileges as men, no matter where they’re born, where they live, and where they work.<br />
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An appreciation of the contributions that women make every day, large and small.<br />
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A concern for the welfare of other women.<br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><br /></span></b><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><i>When did you first identify as a feminist?</i></span></b><i> </i><br />
Since before I can ever remember! I’m quite fortunate to have a mother who has always encouraged me. Growing up before the women’s rights movement, she was acutely aware of the societal limitations imposed upon women, and was determined that things would be different for her daughters. I consequently used to go around telling people as a young girl that “I can be anything I want when I grow up, except a boy.” If only I knew... ;-)<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><i>Has your (definition of) feminism changed over time? How? </i></span></b><br />
I think that my understanding and appreciation of feminism has expanded and deepened over time. When I was younger, my main exposure to feminism was what I learned in school (who hasn’t done a book report on Susan B. Anthony?), read in the paper, or discussed with my mother.<br />
<br />
As I grew older, I realized that there was far more to feminism than learning about the suffrage movement and lamenting that women still don’t receive equal pay for equal work. Feminism isn’t simply about the struggle for rights... it isn’t even simply about “struggle,” period.<br />
<br />
To me, feminism is about considering how we as individuals and societies construct gender. It’s about rethinking gender roles and gender stereotypes that we encounter everyday. It’s about contemplating the choices we make and how they ultimately affect others: our family, our friends, and society as a whole.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><i>Have you ever experienced resistance to identifying as a feminist? If so, why do you think that is and how do you handle it? </i></span></b><br />
Only from myself! There was a time in my life when I began to wonder what it really meant to be a feminist, and whether you lost your membership card if you weren’t out on the streets with protest signs. Then, to my great relief, I realized that our thoughts and actions all make a difference, and we’re all metaphorically on the front lines every day.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><i>What do you see as the future of feminism?</i></span></b><br />
I think that in the future, we’ll continue to break down barriers around the world. I believe that it’s particularly important for us all of us to educate ourselves and speak out against violence and discrimination against women in other countries. There are so many horrific practices that still exist, such as bride kidnapping, honor killings, FGM, and many others. Perhaps a good place to start is identifying at least one or two causes that are truly important to you, and thinking of small ways that you can make a contribution.<br />
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<br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Julia M. Famularo is a Research Affiliate at the Project 2049 Institute and a fourth-year doctoral student in Modern East Asian Political History at Georgetown University. Recently, she had the opportunity to spend a semester at the State Department, working in the Bureau of Democracy, Human Rights, and Labor. She has lived and traveled extensively in the People's Republic of China, ethnographic Tibet, and Taiwan.</span></i> <i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">You can find more from Julia at <b><a href="http://www.project2049.net/">Project 2049</a></b>. </span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><br /></span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;">If you would like to participate in this series, please</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"><a href="mailto:themamafesto@gmail.com"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">contact me</span></a></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;">for more details! </span></span></span></i>A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-5202478608658430742011-09-02T03:00:00.000-04:002011-09-02T08:00:00.261-04:00Schooled.It's back to school time for most, and with that comes the excitement, nerves and anticipation of the first day.<br />
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Apparently, it also bring with it a huge helping of sexism.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_9YmgJvXgL7ZbSlJxZVEGqev08wSqoiI2DDK79jGdiIXrFSuJEr-gBNwBUGgAsK3kprRvq1t_LzhcSxcF8HkW_BOWUkEmVKuGI8GxLxGvUF_RZfo3XKJ1tf3YObRUZE1B5UgD0-Zzz8Q/s1600/JCP-Pretty-Homework-shirt-550x494.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="358" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_9YmgJvXgL7ZbSlJxZVEGqev08wSqoiI2DDK79jGdiIXrFSuJEr-gBNwBUGgAsK3kprRvq1t_LzhcSxcF8HkW_BOWUkEmVKuGI8GxLxGvUF_RZfo3XKJ1tf3YObRUZE1B5UgD0-Zzz8Q/s400/JCP-Pretty-Homework-shirt-550x494.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br />
JC Penny has made the news for selling back-to-school shirts for girls that reinforce the stereotype that as long as they're pretty, they don't need to worry about their intellect. My friend Melissa over at <a href="http://blog.pigtailpals.com/2011/08/prettys-got-nothing-to-do-with-it/">Pigtail Pals breaks it down</a> and explains why JC Penny screwed up so poorly.<br />
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To their <s>very little</s> credit, JC Penny heard the backlash loud and clear and removed the shirt from being sold.<br />
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However, they continue to sell shirts that portray <a href="http://www.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6.aspx?GrpTyp=PRD&ItemID=1aa1802&DeptID=77892&CatID=77894&SO=0&Ne=5+29+3+1031+8+586+18+949&x5view=1&NOffset=0&shopperType=G&N=4294939995&Nao=420&PSO=0&CmCatId=77892|77894">similarly sexist messages</a>. <br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYij05EbYwjDSTnYXq4EA4HksoWvSPFsqSOksiT-IhRBQrM8kXr-HvGaqt2MJZIp9_KKsf1WiVVTIy8PLtbsXJrmAtoctGWCgc2Adly2tJZCKyr-4O6XYWQrcAATQgeWTZKhdYclWzdos/s1600/336506437_623053-300x300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYij05EbYwjDSTnYXq4EA4HksoWvSPFsqSOksiT-IhRBQrM8kXr-HvGaqt2MJZIp9_KKsf1WiVVTIy8PLtbsXJrmAtoctGWCgc2Adly2tJZCKyr-4O6XYWQrcAATQgeWTZKhdYclWzdos/s1600/336506437_623053-300x300.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I guess girls are no longer taking Science, Math or History? BTW, I'm pretty certain I received an F in "shopping"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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While most people get why the above shirts are offensive, many others have been espousing the whole "if you don't like it, don't buy it" notion. The problem with that is that folks don't need to buy it to <i>buy into it</i>. Just the fact that these shirts exist - pushing the stereotype that girls don't need to be brainy as long as they have their looks - reinforces a falsehood that some little girls might actually buy into.<br />
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Of course, I had to be fair. I went through all 22 pages of JC Penny's t-shirts for girls. Not all were this blatant. But, most of them did have qualifying words on them: <i>Princess, Diva, Cutie,</i> etc... Others had messages like "<i>I heart bling</i>." None besides a super cute & nerdy Hello Kitty shirt left me feeling all that groovy, to be honest.<br />
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I then decided to look through all 15 pages of the boys t-shirts. Hardly any had descriptive words. Lots of numbers and sports themed shirts, but not much was suggested beyond boys being "Rock Star!" "X-Treme!" or.... "boys."<br />
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<a href="http://swww.luckylocal.com/img_merprdt.php?merprdt_num=5449696&s=p" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://swww.luckylocal.com/img_merprdt.php?merprdt_num=5449696&s=p" /></a></div>
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What's with the disparity? The sad thing is, if I looked beyond JC Penny and compared other big box clothing stores, I'm certain to find similar trends. Girl style automatically equals commentary on looks and attitude, while boys' clothes tend to either be plain or lame.<br />
<br />
I'm well aware that <b><a href="http://www.etsy.com/shop/handfull?ref=ss_profile"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">awesome</span></a></b> <a href="http://www.pigtailpals.com/pigtail-pals-shirts.html"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #3d85c6;">kid-positive</span></b></a> <a href="http://www.handsomeinpink.com/cgi-bin/hip"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;"><b>clothing</b></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: magenta;"><b> </b></span>exists out there. But these kinds of clothes are not available in big box stores where many people shop. These clothes are <i>not</i> the majority. But, perhaps, if <a href="http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/dpps/consumer/im-too-pretty-to-do-homework-t-shirt-controversy-jcpenny-dpgoh-20110901-fc_14821089">more people are vocal</a> about what they don't want to see on their children's clothes, perhaps retailers will start taking the hint...A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-71180099746732936792011-09-01T08:00:00.001-04:002011-09-15T13:30:31.296-04:00This Is What A Feminist Looks Like: Ashley<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Name: </span></b>Ashley<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Age: </span></b>27<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Occupation: </span></b>student<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Location:</span></b> midwest<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Any other relevant tidbits you'd care to share:</span></b> you can find me tweeting <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/ashleyrebeccah">@ashleyrebeccah</a><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIl_1liJr_raekrs0LPuuZfHL8Nu6e6ID0nxR-TNX03Epxs0Q6tFWyI4-xq2CW6ovJ7ym1-rjc19J_ljmN9Js6m3ctTajn8CvsIyEeDMFSwA6Y09A3EOGChQRU3aOYnp3QB3MDPp_UMes/s1600/-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgIl_1liJr_raekrs0LPuuZfHL8Nu6e6ID0nxR-TNX03Epxs0Q6tFWyI4-xq2CW6ovJ7ym1-rjc19J_ljmN9Js6m3ctTajn8CvsIyEeDMFSwA6Y09A3EOGChQRU3aOYnp3QB3MDPp_UMes/s400/-1.jpg" width="282" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ashley at age 4</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">How do you define feminism? </span></i></b><br />
I think feminism is about ensuring human rights for women as well as establishing full and equal participation in all aspects of society. I have heard it defined as equality with men but I don't think that's enough. There are many things that are different for women and men or only affect women, like reproductive rights, pregnancy/parenthood, domestic and sexual violence which women experience at much greater levels than men, etc. In addition, large numbers of women encounter even greater oppression due to the intersections of sexism, racism, ableism, heterosexism, cissexism, classism, and ageism, and I think in order to gain full human rights for women we have to eliminate all of these "ism's". <br />
<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">When did you first identify as a feminist?</span></i></b><br />
I first identified as a feminist as a teenager. It was definitely a gradual thing but I started to recognize how I was treated differently because of my gender. I grew up in a conservative, Catholic family and attended Catholic schools and I began to feel that women were treated as lesser in the Catholic church and this extended into my home life because of my family's strong religious beliefs. I then started to seek out more information about forms of discrimination that women faced which is where I learned more about feminism both in the US and in other countries.<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><br />
</span></i></b><br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Has your (definition of) feminism changed over time? How? </span></i></b><br />
I wouldn't say it's changed as much as I have solidified what it means to me.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Have you ever experienced resistance to identifying as a feminist? If so, why do you think that is and how do you handle it? </span></i></b><br />
I've definitely experienced resistance to identifying as a feminist. I think men (especially cis hetero white males) are resistant to feminism because they don't want to give up any of their power. When women are resistant I think it's often because they have been conditioned to believe things are fine as they are. In addition, talking about feminism means challenging beliefs, both other people's and my own, and I think that can be difficult to stomach. I'm not really sure I handle the resistance in any particular way but I definitely don't give up on my beliefs even when they seem unpopular because I strongly believe in justice for all people.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">What do you see as the future of feminism?</span></i></b><br />
I know some people think feminism is dead but I think it is still very much alive and has taken on a variety of forms. One thing that concerns me is when feminists criticize other feminists when they are exercising the right to make their own choices, like the choice to change their last name upon marriage, to wear makeup, or to do any other number of things which are sometimes viewed as oppressive or anti feminist. I think if we are truly serious about fighting for women's rights we have to support one another and work towards ensuring that all women are truly free to exercise their rights and make their own choices. If we are trying to decide for other women then they are not free and I don't think we are any better than the patriarchal society that tries to impose upon them to begin with. I also think for the future of feminism we need to work towards recognizing that it's not just about sexism but about all of the intersecting forms of oppression that women face. I think many women don't identify as feminist because of this exclusion and so moving forward we need to work on making sure the feminist movement is inclusive.<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;">If you would like to participate in this series, please</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"><a href="mailto:themamafesto@gmail.com"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">contact me</span></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;">for more details! </span>A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-37535945528059348232011-08-31T08:00:00.001-04:002011-08-31T09:01:21.763-04:00An Abortion Story<a href="http://the33rdflavor.blogspot.com/2011/08/this-is-what-feminist-looks-like-krista.html"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><b> Krista,</b></span></i></a><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"> who I met via my This Is What A Feminist Looks Like series, graciously agreed to do a guest post for me, especially after I had found out that she had been a patient of the late</span><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Tiller"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"> <b>Dr. George Tiller</b></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">. Krista originally shared this post as a speech at a Planned Parenthood event.</span></i><br />
<div><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQEb7WQPqqoE2Zre0fbaKqEk_MVDxyom-Eg_yOpoNozox-P6m9oyw8AYiKwhKmXSVBzBL2hM0tYi3MZn8APDHEB0BOpdWUpwW8VqMQ1dSD2-mYm2mokvUQUUYxZSBALbdnaq2pHxJQb60/s1600/-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQEb7WQPqqoE2Zre0fbaKqEk_MVDxyom-Eg_yOpoNozox-P6m9oyw8AYiKwhKmXSVBzBL2hM0tYi3MZn8APDHEB0BOpdWUpwW8VqMQ1dSD2-mYm2mokvUQUUYxZSBALbdnaq2pHxJQb60/s400/-2.jpg" width="206" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Krista at 15</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
In 1986 I was 15-years-old and I was pregnant.<br />
<br />
That's an easy statement to make now, but it was a reality that took me months to accept.<br />
<br />
I was in love. I honestly thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him....until he broke up with me.<br />
<br />
The next month my period didn't come. I thought it was because I was upset over the break-up.<br />
<br />
The month after that, I was in denial. It couldn't happen to me. We had been safe....most of the time.<br />
<br />
The month after that I accepted I was pregnant.<br />
<br />
But I wasn't allowed to date yet, so how was I going to tell my parents I was pregnant?<br />
<br />
When I finally told them they were angry, disappointed and concerned.<br />
<br />
We talked about my future and what I wanted.<br />
<br />
I wanted to go to college. And I knew I was not ready to be a mother at 15-years old.<br />
<br />
My mother took me to the Planned Parenthood in Peoria Illinois.<br />
<br />
After an examination the doctor said he could not perform the abortion.<br />
<br />
I was more than 21-weeks pregnant.<br />
<br />
Our only alternative was to travel to Wichita Kansas and the Women's Health Care Services clinic.<br />
<br />
The same clinic Operation Rescue and other anti-choice protesters targeted for years.<br />
<br />
When we pulled up to the gated clinic only one silent protestor stood outside.<br />
<br />
I was relieved, but I was also scared.<br />
<br />
The staff was kind. They smiled and treated me and the six others in my group gingerly.<br />
<br />
They were other teenagers like me.<br />
<br />
There was a 20-year old beauty pageant queen. She told me she was getting an abortion because the Miss America rules stated she could not have a child.<br />
<br />
There was a couple in their 30's who made the difficult decision to terminate a planned pregnancy because the child was stricken with a severe birth defect.<br />
<br />
The same birth defect that had already claimed one of their children.<br />
<br />
And there was a 12-year-old Hispanic girl who didn't speak English. She looked terrified.<br />
<br />
The staff explained that over the next week we would take pills to induce labor and abort our fetuses.<br />
<br />
We all stayed at a local motel.<br />
<br />
We ate together, we cried together and we supported each other.<br />
<br />
My contractions started in the middle of the afternoon.<br />
<br />
I couldn't keep food or water down.<br />
<br />
The pain increased as the contractions got closer together.<br />
<br />
By the next morning I was in agony.<br />
<br />
I don't remember much about the moment when my pregnancy ended.<br />
<br />
Just the nurse who told me to push.<br />
<br />
On the long drive home, my breasts started producing milk. My body believed I had given birth.<br />
<br />
Before we left the clinic, the Doctor talked to all of us about our futures.<br />
<br />
When the Doctor looked at me he paused and quietly said I reminded him of his daughter.<br />
<br />
My doctor was Dr. George Tiller.<br />
<br />
In 2004, I saw Dr. Tiller again at the March for Women's Lives in Washington D.C.<br />
<br />
I cried and thanked him for giving me a future.<br />
<br />
I felt empowered knowing he was on our side.<br />
<br />
On May 31, 2009 Scott Roeder shot and killed Dr. George Tiller.<br />
<br />
The doctor was at his church serving as an usher during the Sunday morning service when Roeder shot Dr. Tiller in the head.<br />
<br />
That single gunshot closed the Women's Health Care Services clinic permanently.<br />
<br />
I want Dr. Tiller's legacy to be something he said, "Abortion is about women's hopes and dreams and potential, the rest of their lives, abortion is a matter of survival for women.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoDDXDHhOc68_6ytal-Q-b1HWLkAyTeDHx4LWnXkxCKewBQm-gXdzWq6nW2rGqWQwa6tfwFhek7ZxhnPXNvfXl2Be-SpflOKHC3UiVydUWenUkEKApae4VAVzJlEYDYN2srRJo23HyojM/s1600/-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgoDDXDHhOc68_6ytal-Q-b1HWLkAyTeDHx4LWnXkxCKewBQm-gXdzWq6nW2rGqWQwa6tfwFhek7ZxhnPXNvfXl2Be-SpflOKHC3UiVydUWenUkEKApae4VAVzJlEYDYN2srRJo23HyojM/s1600/-1.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Krista today</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Krista is married to an amazing, supportive man. They have two dogs who fill their lives with joy. </span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><i>You can find Krista </i></span><a href="https://twitter.com/#!/ImAFeminist"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><i><b>on Twitter</b></i></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><i>.</i></span></div></div>A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-59419227840976599512011-08-30T08:00:00.000-04:002011-08-30T08:00:13.622-04:00This Is What A Feminist Looks Like: Becky<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Name: </span></b>Becky Sumber<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b>Age:</b></span> 36<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b>Location</b></span><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">:</span></b> Westchester area, NY<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b>Occupation:</b></span> Manager in the Service Coordination Department of an agency that serves people with developmental disabilities/mom<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Random/Important facts:</span></b> mother of a young daughter and son.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6147/5920390032_b73907f899_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6147/5920390032_b73907f899_o.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 13px;">Becky</span></span></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">How do you define feminism?</span></i></b><br />
Feminism to me is knowing that women don't need to fit into any particular gender role, and that that only limits on women are their own aspirations. I experience feminism now mostly through parenting my kids; raising each of them to just be who they are and to do what they love. Feminism isn't just about women having the freedom to explore and enjoy traditional male gender roles (being the breadwinner, working in male dominated fields, etc), but also about embracing things that may be considered traditional female gender roles (being nurturing, soft and feminine) if that's what they enjoy and if that's what feels right.<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">When did you first consider yourself a feminist?</span></i></b><br />
In college I took a women's studies course and identified with a lot of the themes. I grew up in a household where, when she could, my mother stayed home to take care of me and my siblings, but when she needed to, she also worked, obtained an advanced college degree, and moved her four children into a better living environment as a single mother. Without realizing it, I was raised with the assumptions that a woman can do and be anything that she wants to, or anything that she needs to.<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Has your definition of feminism changed over time? </span></i></b><br />
I think having a daughter reinforced my ideas, and forced me to think about them more concretely, as I've tried to raise my daughter to know that she can be whoever she wants to be and that her voice is important. I've extended those thoughts to my baby boy, who I will raise to be comfortable with who he is, & to know that women can be equal partners with their mates. I think that, as I've watched my daughter grow, I've become more aware of making sure my kids know they don't have to fit into any sort of gender stereotype; that they are perfect just the way they are, however they wish to express themselves, and that they can do and be anything that makes them happy.<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Have you ever experienced resistance to identifying as a feminist? If so, why do you think there is and how do you handle it? </span></i></b><br />
I actually can't say I have experienced resistance. I haven't ever felt like I couldn't do or be something just because I'm a woman; or that I have to do or be something because I'm a woman. I've also been lucky to work in a very female-dominated field where women are commonly leaders and in upper level positions.<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><br />
</span></i></b><br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">What do you see as the future of feminism? </span></i></b><br />
I think the future is feminism. I see a world for my kids to grow up in where women are equally accepted and respected for any choice they make in their lives, whether my daughter wants to stay home and raise children, obtain an advanced degree and work her way up the ladder in a male dominated field, build a remote control car or dress up in unicorn costumes and have tea parties. All are valid and valuable choices.<br />
<div><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Becky and her husband Jon live just north of NYC with their two young children. She works in the field of developmental disabilities and juggles work and domestic goddess duties with the finesse of a clumsy circus clown. She loves live music, going to bed early, hiking, bad reality TV, and vegetarian cooking.</span></i><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;">If you would like to participate in this series, please</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"><a href="mailto:themamafesto@gmail.com"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">contact me</span></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;">for more details! </span></div>A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-55967370088733173262011-08-29T10:05:00.006-04:002011-08-29T10:05:00.455-04:00All Tied UpIt was just another week working with <a href="http://the33rdflavor.blogspot.com/2011/05/clubbin.html"><b>my girls</b></a>...Okay, they're not actually mine, but after over a year of tutoring them, it can sometimes feel that way.<br />
<br />
And...it's never really <i>just another week</i>. While I'm there to tutor, I come away from my time with them having learned a thing or two as well. I'm also almost guaranteed some amazing conversation.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>***</b></span></span></div><br />
"Miss. How old do you have to be to get your tubes tied?" asked one of the girls in between fraction problems.<br />
<br />
I looked at her with a blank stare, never having had the opportunity to even contemplate that question. "Um...18? 21?" I guessed, but really had no clue.<br />
<br />
"Yeah, I think 21," another girl chimed in, and soon a handful had added their opinion.<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;">(</span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;">For the record, I later looked it up, and the legal age is 18, but various practices can sometimes refuse to perform the procedure on young adults who have never had children. A post for another time, to be sure...</span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;">)</span><br />
<br />
The girl in question (19) only has one kid - a little boy. Yet, she seemed resolute in her decision that she was done having kids and wanted her tubes tied.<br />
<br />
I was curious as to how she came to that choice.<br />
<br />
Her son's father is in and out of the picture and she lives with her mom and siblings, an all too common scenario for these girls. And maybe it's because of that. Or maybe it's because her son is teething and slept like crap, or had a tantrum, or ruined her favorite necklace. Whatever the reason, she decided that, still in her teens, she is done. No more kids for her.<br />
<br />
I thought back to when I was 18. The sky was the limit for me. I was off to college, excited, anxious, curious, full of possibility. I couldn't imagine making such a decision. But then again, I wasn't in the same situation.<br />
<br />
I'm not denying the fact that maybe she does know. Maybe she really knows that she doesn't want any other kids. I mean, I know (at 31) that we're sticking with just EZ, so why can't she know?<br />
<br />
I thought about all of that, but still, I asked her if she was really sure. The thing that caused me to keep talking was the permanence of it all.<br />
<br />
That was the other thing I remembered about being 18. Like the time I got my belly button pierced and then it got all crazy infected. That scar I have is permanent. <b>Such</b> a poor analogy, but there you go. Things we do when young stay with us. A scar on my stomach is one thing, scarred up fallopian tubes? That's another.<br />
<br />
So we talked. I didn't push, I didn't prod.<br />
<br />
I <i>did</i> tell her I got an IUD the week before.<br />
<br />
I told her I also knew I only wanted one kid, but...you never know.<br />
<br />
Things change.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47; font-size: large;"><b>***</b></span></div><br />
The other day I was back there and we were discussing something else - an article on mother/daughter bullies actually - and the same girl came up to me before I left.<br />
<br />
"Hey Miss.."<br />
<br />
"Yeah?"<br />
<br />
"I don't think I'm gonna get my tubes tied. I looked it up, and it's a crazy surgery. Plus, you know. What you said."<br />
<br />
And that was that. Off she went, cell phone in hand, gossiping with her friends as they downed a snack before heading to athletics.<br />
<br />
Like any other teen...only not.<br />
<br />
A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-54669339085545788572011-08-26T07:00:00.000-04:002011-08-26T07:00:01.972-04:00This Is What A Feminist Looks Like: Mary<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Name:</span></b> Mary Starr<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Age: </span></b>47<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b>Occupation: </b></span> Homemaker/Volunteer<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Location:</span></b> Kansas City, MO<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b>Any other relevant tidbits you'd care to share:</b></span> When reading to my kids, I frequently switch the male-in-power gender roles to female. Why does the doctor or the mayor always have to be a man?<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKKdSlHe084xutmLpoV1tmRW2vO0pYN0E8GEtwtDvVP4ACPTLCiB-NEX3crnmHtuhZhUpq-uRKVc-AVoI2qL7wevexhToMPsQOfCrglEZIZVi2yJRj9XFT5RSjo-YSvkWNfYtt8Gl2oMs/s1600/-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKKdSlHe084xutmLpoV1tmRW2vO0pYN0E8GEtwtDvVP4ACPTLCiB-NEX3crnmHtuhZhUpq-uRKVc-AVoI2qL7wevexhToMPsQOfCrglEZIZVi2yJRj9XFT5RSjo-YSvkWNfYtt8Gl2oMs/s400/-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mary</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b><i>How do you define feminism? </i></b></span><br />
"Equalism." My definition doesn't involve man-bashing, simply working toward equal pay and respect for women.<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">When did you first identify as a feminist? </span></i></b><br />
When I was a kid in the '70s, my dad (somewhat) jokingly rang a bell for my mom to fetch his coffee. I so wanted to tell him to get his own damned coffee!<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b><i>Has your (definition of) feminism changed over time? How? </i></b></span><br />
I used to think being a homemaker and a feminist were mutually exclusive. Now I believe one can still work toward equal treatment no matter one's work status.<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Have you ever experienced resistance to identifying as a feminist? If so, why do you think that is and how do you handle it? </span></i></b><br />
I experienced resistance from my brother and a former co-worker. Some men seem threatened by the 'f-word' itself. I explained that feminists don't want preferential treatment, merely equal treatment.<br />
<br />
When I ended up having two sons, my brother commented that maybe (now) I would be able to understand men better. Apparently he thought I was confused!<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">What do you see as the future of feminism? </span></i></b><br />
It would be wonderful if the need for feminism were to become obsolete. But considering that we still haven't elected a woman president in the U.S., we have work to do.<br />
<div><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><i>Mary enjoys taking Tae Kwon Do with her older son & acting silly with her younger son and her fiance, Mike. She majored in Political Science and a favorite job was working for Children International, a child sponsorship organization. She now considers with mild amusement the fact that her father thinks males are inherently more intelligent than females.</i></span><br />
<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">If you would like to participate in this series, please</span></b><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></b><a href="mailto:themamafesto@gmail.com"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">contact me for more details</span></span></b></a><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">! </span></b></div>A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-53971237472475264362011-08-25T08:00:00.003-04:002011-08-26T10:10:20.490-04:00This Is What A Feminist Looks Like: Krista<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Name: </span></b>Krista<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Age:</span> 40<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b>Occupation:</b></span> Journalist<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Location:</span></b> Mid-South<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTsCKKmy6j_W4JOv9wHvIY186I5cFyzcylv0BtsC7kbElCC1GxzsjN5ZxKJFJXLC93rFahDRhL4fNjoDU4_naZsmmAV3DK5AwiRBbqMJYXdNIPjSgTG2DAaLC3ExfUzw9WVULkjbf4rPI/s1600/n1054358155_30417664_1404479.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTsCKKmy6j_W4JOv9wHvIY186I5cFyzcylv0BtsC7kbElCC1GxzsjN5ZxKJFJXLC93rFahDRhL4fNjoDU4_naZsmmAV3DK5AwiRBbqMJYXdNIPjSgTG2DAaLC3ExfUzw9WVULkjbf4rPI/s400/n1054358155_30417664_1404479.jpg" width="276" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Krista</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">How do you define feminism?</span></i></b><br />
It's supporting women and women's issues. Too many people believe feminism is about promoting women while putting men down, but that's not the case. They are shocked to learn men can be feminists too. Feminism is about sending the message women are people. We are capable of doing everythng men can do (except maybe pee standing up!). We are so much more than incubators and maids. We raise children and run countries. It's about not blaming rape victims, allowing women real choices when it comes to birth control, equal pay for equal work and recognition of the huge contributions we make in the world every day. <br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">When did you first identify as a feminist?</span></i></b><br />
I can't remember a time I didn't identify as a feminist. I grew up in a household where I was told I could do anything or be anything. If I wanted to be President, I could do it. It wasn't until I started school that I realized this wasn't the way everyone thought. I was shocked. I never backed down from my goals and my parents always stood behind me.<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><i><b>Has your (definition of) feminism changed over time? How?</b></i></span><br />
I don't think my definition has changed. I feel the issues have changed. They've gotten more complex. (Maybe it's me that's more complex). Everything seemed so cut and dry when I was younger, now I see there's not always one simple answer. For instance - supporting women politicians like Sarah Palin. Years ago my instinct would be to support her because she's a woman, but the truth is Palin doesn't support other women or women's issues. There's nothing more frustrating then women who don't recognize and honor the fact they are where they are today because of feminists in the past.<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Have you ever experienced resistance to identifying as a feminist? If so, why do you think that is and how do you handle it?</span></i></b><br />
Yes! On Twitter! Someone said I shouldn't talk about birth control and abortion rights, specifically conception, because I was a feminist. She automatically thought feminist meant lesbian. After I stopped laughing I explained that while some feminists are lesbians, I was not. I wear my "Ms.", "This Is What a Feminist Looks Like" and "I Had An Abortion" t-shirts a lot. They generate conversations and provide me an opportunity to share my story.<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">What do you see as the future of feminism?</span></i></b><br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"></span></i></b> Unfortunately I see another backlash against feminism in the immediate future. I hope this will inspire fellow feminists to speak up and get involved. We cannot succeed unless we work together. I see promise in the next generation, but it's up to women (including me) to help lead the way.<br />
<br />
<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">More on Krista:</span></b><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">I was 15-years-old when I got pregnant. Dr. George Tiller performed my abortion. Keeping abortion safe and legal is an issue I fiercely support. If women cannot control their bodies and their reproductive health, they cannot control their lives.</span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">I am married to an amazing, supportive man. We have two dogs who fill our lives with joy.</span></i><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">You can also find Krista </span><a href="https://twitter.com/#!/ImAFeminist"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">on Twitter</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;">If you would like to participate in this series, please</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"><a href="mailto:themamafesto@gmail.com"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">contact me</span></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;">for more details! </span>A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-7531399066804043972011-08-24T08:00:00.003-04:002011-08-24T08:00:08.241-04:00This Is What A Feminist Looks Like: Rachael<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Name:</span></b> Rachael Berkey<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Age:</span></b> 28<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b>Occupation:</b></span> Online Communications wiz & writer<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Location:</span></b> New England<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Any other relevant tidbits you'd care to share:</span></b> I read too much. Seriously, I'll read the back of a cereal box if there's nothing else around for me to read. I also love Star Wars. And The West Wing. And Star Wars. Did I mention I love Star Wars?<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMoeIzlppHVRQwy5VbvYP5qgtIgtkkg7zOV92ZBoZBisr0YU-haBNYj31JFSnJ-_05zf69XvUOQq0QsiijZb8Td20xcq5sLPl0QT07oKihBWUD2TVXNQSUxyC5vHhzz32RfyBmXrENewE/s1600/-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMoeIzlppHVRQwy5VbvYP5qgtIgtkkg7zOV92ZBoZBisr0YU-haBNYj31JFSnJ-_05zf69XvUOQq0QsiijZb8Td20xcq5sLPl0QT07oKihBWUD2TVXNQSUxyC5vHhzz32RfyBmXrENewE/s400/-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rachael</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">How do you define feminism?</span></i></b><br />
Feminism is confidence.<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b><i>When did you first identify as a feminist?</i></b></span><br />
I was born a feminist. It is an intrinsic piece of who I am. I honestly cannot pinpoint an age or a time; it's just always been part of me.<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Has your (definition of) feminism changed over time? How?</span></i></b><br />
I vaguely remember being horrifically confused when someone tried to tell me I wasn't a feminist. How the neckline of my blouse dictated my stance on feminism, I still don't understand. (Actually, I do. I just refuse to acknowledge it.) I didn't understand how someone could identify as a feminist and have the gall to tell someone else they weren't one because of how they looked. It didn't really change my definition but it definitely made me think about mine long and hard.<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Have you ever experienced resistance to identifying as a feminist? If so, why do you think that is and how do you handle it?</span></i></b><br />
I like to dress girly. I take good care of my body. I like cooking & baking and taking care of people. I also like to mainline Star Wars on a pretty regular basis. And I have no problem with women being photographed in skimpy outfits for the purpose of advertising, so long as it's tasteful...after all men are also photographed in skimpy outfits for the purpose of advertising too. Needless to say, I have always been challenged on my feminism. I fight back by enjoying my confidence, encouraging other young women to stand up for themselves, and by not caving to peer pressure to be catty and obnoxious to other women behind their backs.<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">What do you see as the future of feminism?</span></i></b><br />
I see the future of feminism in many shades of grey. Everyone is not going to agree 100% of the time. But so long as we all keep talking about it and talking to each other, there is always the hope that improvements can be made.<br />
<br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Rachel Berkey lives in New England where she writes, bakes whoopie pies, and spends all together too much time with her nose in a book. She moved there last winter after 4 years of working in Washington DC both in politics and for a nonprofit. She has an MA in literature from the University of New Hampshire and uses it as an excuse to always have a book on her person. You can find her babbles about reading, books and her own brand of geekiness on Wars, her on </span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><a href="http://www.twitter.com/bookoisseur">Twitter</a>, </span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><a href="http://bookoisseur.tumblr.com/">Tumblr</a></span></i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"> and most recently at <a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_330241082">HelloGiggles!</a></span></i><a href="http://hellogiggles.com/rachael-berkey"> </a><br />
<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">If you would like to participate in this series, please <a href="mailto:themamafesto@gmail.com"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">contact me</span></a> for more details! </span></b>A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-6383048402690861742011-08-23T08:00:00.001-04:002011-08-23T08:00:01.530-04:00This Is What A Feminist Looks Like: Sarah<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Name: </span></b>Sarah Werthan Buttenwieser<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Age: </span></b>47<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b>Occupation:</b></span> writer<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b>Location: </b></span>Northampton MA<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Any other relevant tidbits you'd care to share:</span></b> also, community do-er & mama to four<br />
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc_J-A-Zz4N9Krfw2qVIhzWi47TwOJsXnflQiOQpV7H0Rr_qU7yHIalxD3SyOzb5BaASj42DNJBu0xoDWA2nAztR1kJIxbaTqHJZisftkbXTWsmuNzXkhyT6SOJWZIE0iU7EqYVaueb9c/s1600/sarah+before+thaksgiving.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc_J-A-Zz4N9Krfw2qVIhzWi47TwOJsXnflQiOQpV7H0Rr_qU7yHIalxD3SyOzb5BaASj42DNJBu0xoDWA2nAztR1kJIxbaTqHJZisftkbXTWsmuNzXkhyT6SOJWZIE0iU7EqYVaueb9c/s1600/sarah+before+thaksgiving.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sarah</td></tr>
</tbody></table><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">How do you define feminism?</span></i></b><br />
I define feminism as a belief that unless women deserve equality--a truth & an issue of social justice<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">When did you first identify as a feminist?</span></i></b><br />
I am not sure I ever *didn't* identify as a feminist. But the experience that cemented me to feminism was definitely becoming unintentionally pregnant at 17 & realizing that without reproductive freedom my ability to make decisions about how my life could go wouldn't exist. Equal access to free choice about my life became so dear. I just GOT it. I needed to fight for this equality.<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Has your (definition of) feminism changed over time? How?</span></i></b><br />
I think I've mellowed & feel "bigger tent" about feminism than at the height of my activist years. I spent my twenties working in the reproductive rights movement. I thought you had to give it all -- or nothing. I don't see it that way at all these days. I see there are all kinds of ways feminism can be a powerful part of our lives even if it's not the central lens for every person.<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Have you ever experienced resistance to identifying as a feminist? If so, why do you think that is and how do you handle it? </span></i></b><br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"></span></i></b>I never, ever have. It's almost like I love it too much to ever feel scared to identify as a feminist internally. I might not share with someone very conservative *all* that I've fought for in my activist life straight away, though.<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">What do you see as the future of feminism?</span></i></b><br />
I hope the future of feminism is to bring words like equality & justice to the fore again & again until we secure those very things.<br />
<br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Besides keeping a blog at the </span></i><a href="http://www.valleyadvocate.com/blogs/home.cfm?uid=92"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Valley Advocate</span></i></a><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">, Sarah writes (& blogs) hither & yon, from Preview Massachusetts Magazine to Brain Child & points in between. To keep up on where she's writing, you can follow her blog's </span></i><a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Standing-in-the-Shadows-A-Parenting-Politics-Planet-Pop-Culture-Blog/315385747730?ref=ts"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Facebook page</span></i></a><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">. Sarah notes: I am on twitter (poorly) </span></i><a href="http://twitter.com/#!/standshadows"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">@standshadows</span></i></a><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">(Avi disagrees & thinks Sarah is more than fun to tweet with!)</span></i><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 18px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; font-family: Times; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">If you would like to participate in this series, please </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><a href="mailto:themamafesto@gmail.com">contact me for more details!</a></span></span></span></span></b></span>A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-32956936715273343452011-08-22T08:00:00.001-04:002011-08-22T08:00:12.217-04:00This Is What A Feminist Looks Like: Misty<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Name:</span></b> Misty Nelson<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Age: </span></b>35<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b>Occupation:</b></span> Currently unemployed, but I have a Bachelor's in Environmental Biology and a Master's in Marine Science<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Location:</span></b> Missoula, Montana<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQwEghEFdB4IcYYyR0H0clRfPzUbDbOpYQR6i2iswWBYzY_OyHJiW6T26eWiYjwyqgxUaT9i4cxB79zkNAUDWoixT_fHYK8QImc-EHn2Pt0zKhXgkcgkw7xtZ-BKaHmqdeVseSRA49GBY/s1600/-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQwEghEFdB4IcYYyR0H0clRfPzUbDbOpYQR6i2iswWBYzY_OyHJiW6T26eWiYjwyqgxUaT9i4cxB79zkNAUDWoixT_fHYK8QImc-EHn2Pt0zKhXgkcgkw7xtZ-BKaHmqdeVseSRA49GBY/s400/-1.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Misty & her tall, dark, handsome fellow! </td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">How do you define feminism? </span></i></b><br />
Well, I could list a number of bumper stickers that I love that deal with this exact issue...but in my own words, I guess feminism is just a fundamental belief that women should be entitled to the same opportunities, privileges and freedoms that men are. Not to say that men and women are the same - we are most definitely not! - but having a vagina shouldn't be a limiting factor in terms of what a person wants to do with their life. Beyond that, there is a pretty wide range of activism levels - I consider myself a pretty outspoken advocate of equality in all things (race, gender, sexuality, etc., etc., etc.). While I don't expect all feminists to be as vocal about their beliefs as I am, in order to be a 'true' feminist, a person (and feminists don't necessarily have to be women!) must live their life along these lines - you can't say you think one thing, and then vote for people/things that go against those beliefs; likewise, women who have achieved success or popularity by exploiting other women in any way are traitors. For the record: Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachmann are NOT a feminists.<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">When did you first identify as a feminist? </span></i></b><br />
I'm pretty sure I've always been one - I was always kind of a tomboy who liked to play dress-up once in a while. Still am, for that matter :) I can't think of a single turning point when I said "Hey, you know what? I'm going to become a feminist!" I was raised in a household that gave me the freedom to be whoever I wanted to be - whether it was entertaining dreams of becoming a hairdresser, waitress, biologist, firefighter, whatever, and all I ever felt was love, support, and encouragement to do whatever tickled my fancy. It's been a very eye-opening experience to grow up, get out of that bubble into the real world, and realize that the majority of women on the planet don't exist in that same plane. So I guess I was born a feminist, and have just become more of one over time!<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Has your (definition of) feminism changed over time? How? </span></i></b><br />
I think as I have gotten older, I've learned to embrace my femininity more. To recognize that you can still be a strong, capable, intelligent, educated and opinionated person...and at the same time be sexy, emotional, nurturing, and fragile. It's an interesting parallel (or duality perhaps) that the more of the world I see, and the more involved in women's issues I get, and the more outspoken I've become, the more I feel compelled to cultivate and love my own womanliness.<br />
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<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Have you ever experienced resistance to identifying as a feminist? If so, why do you think that is and how do you handle it? </span></i></b><br />
Never. I think there are 'feminists' out there who give feminists a bad name, but I like to think that I'm counterbalancing that by being a feminist that doesn't hate men, or feel threatened by my place in the world, or complain about how unfair it all is. I've done a lot of things that could be considered traditionally 'male' activities - fighting forest fires, field biology, competing in martial arts, rock climbing, etc. - and I excelled in all of them. I think it's always easier to recruit people to a new way of thinking by walking the walk, talking the talk, and just being a good person in the process.<br />
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<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">What do you see as the future of feminism? </span></i></b><br />
Well, I hate to say it, but there is still such a long way to go. The feminist movement will not have been successful until there is global balance when it comes to gender. I realize that we'll probably never get to a place where women are no longer victims, but we should strive towards it regardless. I love to imagine a world where women aren't raped, abused or mistreated; where cultures, religions, and governments treat all humans with equal respect and dignity, regardless of their genitalia, appearance, or beliefs; where young girls and old women alike don't feel pressure to be anything but the natural beauties that they are.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; line-height: 18px;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; font-family: Times; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">If you would like to participate in this series, please <a href="mailto:themamafesto@gmail.com">contact me for more details</a>! </span></span></span></i></b></span>A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-20308265374711003852011-08-19T09:00:00.000-04:002011-08-19T09:00:11.673-04:00Link Love!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPe_E9Pa3nq6g4s45K45w14Lj-DbspBQ_kZ0EqCGW9ixwv79f-VWNrkuMIBqpqTWqdPLHHW28oamPV1zVBlv5dzhfY8nprf_ido48DJ-m0NfvyPmkwDQZwXKoQcU4JZJnBXSWWJ8sw0ns/s1600/5959579200_aea1a02e4d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPe_E9Pa3nq6g4s45K45w14Lj-DbspBQ_kZ0EqCGW9ixwv79f-VWNrkuMIBqpqTWqdPLHHW28oamPV1zVBlv5dzhfY8nprf_ido48DJ-m0NfvyPmkwDQZwXKoQcU4JZJnBXSWWJ8sw0ns/s1600/5959579200_aea1a02e4d.jpg" /></a></div><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">*</span> <b><a href="http://bitchmagazine.org/article/pink-scare">"Pink Scare,"</a></b> (My article about the media panic over boys & pink) has been published in this month's issue of Bitch Magazine. They've also selected it to be one of the articles featured on their site! Feel free to hop on over there to read it, and drop a thought or two in the comments - would love to know what folks think.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">* </span>My friend Sarah wrote about <b><a href="http://www.valleyadvocate.com/blogs/home.cfm?aid=13949">fruit, pie, and contests</a></b> and combining all three for a good cause.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">* </span>So...I still might be fangirling a little over the fact that Ritch <a href="http://the33rdflavor.blogspot.com/2011/08/this-is-what-feminist-looks-like-ritch.html">participated in my TIWAFLL series</a>. Mostly because<b> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/RitchandFamous">his vlogs are cheeky and smart,</a></b> which is a killer combination in my book! (but not always super safe for work language wise, just FYI). You should check them out.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">* </span>Someone on Twitter linked to <b><a href="http://www.postcrossing.com/">Postcrossing</a></b> this past week, and I think it's just a brilliant idea. I still have fond memories of my pen pal from Manitoba, Canada when I was in 2nd grade. Getting postcards from all over sounds like so much fun, and a neat way to learn about maps and places around the world with the kiddo. Will be signing up soon for sure!<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">* </span>Why does TLC insist on producing the most enabling, vile shows they can come up with? This new one is about <b><a href="http://jezebel.com/5832288/enabling-mom-throws-sugar+addicted-child-elaborate-candy-fantasy-preschool-graduation-party"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">extreme excess</span></a></b> as it relates to kids' parties (okay, so while I don't actually *love* this link, I just couldn't let it slip by without comment).<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75; font-size: large; font-weight: bold;">* </span>And just because I can't get this song out of my head, I'm sharing it with all of you... (also, how cute is it that Jay Leno is holding up a record?)<br />
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</div><div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="345" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Rym1ngu09vY" width="420"></iframe></div>A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-23161552683238364732011-08-18T08:00:00.001-04:002011-08-18T08:00:07.637-04:00This Is What A Feminist Looks Like: Ritch<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Name: </span></b>Ritch Ludlow<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Age:</span></b> 24<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Occupation: </span></b>Student and amateur vlogger<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b>Current Location:</b></span> North Texas<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Birth Location:</span></b> England<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ritch</td></tr>
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<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">How do you define feminism?</span></i></b><br />
Feminism, to me, is a very broad term for people striving for social, political, and financial equality across all of humanity with a particular focus on how gender effects this. Because the movement has been around so long and has so many different perspectives, identifying as part of the third wave of feminism is important to me. I guess I might even call Sarah Palin a feminist...but I'd definitely have to call her a first wave feminist.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><i><b>When did you first identify as a feminist? </b></i></span><br />
Probably when I was about 18. I think I saw The Vagina Monologues when I was 17, and I started to become comfortable with the word. Then in college I joined UNT's Feminist Majority Leadership Alliance, and my life changed forever!<br />
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<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Has your (definition of) feminism changed over time? How? </span></i></b><br />
When I was younger, I saw feminism as a party I wasn't invited to. Feminist friends I had at the time made me feel a little alienated, which, in hindsight, I think was a result of none of us knowing where men's roles fit into feminist activism. I later realized that the problems I'd had with my gender identity and sexuality all my life was from a distinct lack of feminism in my everyday. I rectified things accordingly.<br />
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<i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Have you ever experienced resistance to identifying as a feminist? If so, why do you think that is and how do you handle it?</span></b></i><br />
No, it doesn't seem to bother people, because, I think, it tends to surprise them and throw them off. I don't fit their ideas of what a feminist is (female, lesbian, man-hating, anti-porn, angry), and I think that helps people keep an open mind when I talk about it.<br />
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<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">What do you see as the future of feminism?</span></i></b><br />
I think technology is changing very quickly at this point in our history, and has the potential to eventually balance out the gender playing field completely. In the grand scheme of human history, only now are physical gender boundaries starting to break down seriously (i.e. reproduction, choice, gender transitioning, etc.), and I'm excited to see where that leads us. Of course, feminist activists will still be needed to guide our use of that technology. All activists have to pay lots of attention right now and make sure we discuss all the new questions as they come. There's no black and white answer to anything, and that's why the dialogue needs to be maintained, especially as things change.<br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Ritchard is best known on the web for his <a href="http://www.youtube.com/ritchandfamous">youtube vlog</a>, as well as a variety of other artistic expressions which can be seen on his website, <a href="http://ritchardaludlow.com/">ritchardaludlow.com</a>.</span></i><br />
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<div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="345" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/nrNkNBjBR3o" width="420"></iframe></div><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;">If <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #741b47;">you</span> would like to participate in this series, please</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"><a href="mailto:themamafesto@gmail.com"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">contact me</span></a></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;"> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small; font-weight: bold;">for more details! </span></span></span>A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-87269926149395966292011-08-17T08:44:00.011-04:002011-08-17T08:44:00.244-04:00Food, Farming & Feminism<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">This was a guest post I originally wrote for my </span></i><a href="http://the33rdflavor.blogspot.com/2011/08/this-is-what-feminist-looks-like-ashley.html"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><b>friend Ashley</b></span></i></a><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><b>'</b>s blog, </span></i><a href="http://smallstrokesbigoaks.com/2011/08/15/guest-post-food-farming-feminism/"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><b>Small Strokes</b></span></i></a><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">. </span></i><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">Planting seeds, pulling weeds and harvesting greens...on the surface these activities hardly scream feminism, but when you dig a bit deeper, it's almost hard to miss the strong connection between food, farming and feminism. For me, it all boils down to a sense of self-sustainability: if I'm able to grow some crops and turn them into something both edible and nourishing, I've added just one more way to ensure both my independence and ability to take care of myself. There is also the slight satisfaction I get (beyond biting into a tomato picked straight from the vine!) knowing I that excel at something that is traditionally a male endeavor. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"> </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">This is the third year that we've planted our small urban vegetable garden. </span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM359TzTpXWUT1IZ6RZ8vszzE62YaX1As1J7BDaIBEbFVEA-1kJ8V7SxXwBCnzxAnq9VnxHLF-0w7JZXLQ_u1doGjtIEgFRUSkrdQEKA-KMPnlQLMbk8osUtrVONLpDKamr7fvaarMJjE/s1600/P1070115.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM359TzTpXWUT1IZ6RZ8vszzE62YaX1As1J7BDaIBEbFVEA-1kJ8V7SxXwBCnzxAnq9VnxHLF-0w7JZXLQ_u1doGjtIEgFRUSkrdQEKA-KMPnlQLMbk8osUtrVONLpDKamr7fvaarMJjE/s400/P1070115.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">MD tending to our kale</td></tr>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><div style="display: inline !important;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">We don't have an actual yard or lawn, and instead ripped out the few ornamental bushes the previous owners planted. With only a six by ten square foot plot of dirt surrounded by bricks, I'm able to grow broccoli, various types of tomatoes, cucumbers, green beans, lettuce, kale, basil and mint. </span></span></div></span></i><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"> </span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwZxgdur59w6cVusKRhVgR6PqRVKRn8RPOFbCJ0JB-Y9LeHIlfG30nbWQU6d7FkfMSqIyCf5AgX9dhZ1cYZ-KbY2Rv4-f2I8x_NSkfA92F0bkou0ky2aS1egFCV87IwT6qVn_NZVVEkBY/s1600/P1070123.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwZxgdur59w6cVusKRhVgR6PqRVKRn8RPOFbCJ0JB-Y9LeHIlfG30nbWQU6d7FkfMSqIyCf5AgX9dhZ1cYZ-KbY2Rv4-f2I8x_NSkfA92F0bkou0ky2aS1egFCV87IwT6qVn_NZVVEkBY/s400/P1070123.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><br />
</span></span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"> </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">I can then take my veggies and herbs and turn them into delicious, healthy meals for myself and my family. While some might scoff at what I do and suggest that I'm conforming to a '50s ideal of the wife who stays home and cooks for her family, I find that it's completely the opposite for me.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"> </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">Instead of playing into a stereotype, I'm actively transforming the notion of what a homemaker is with my little garden. I'm taking the power back, working hard, and choosing to eat my own produce rather than patronizing big box stores. Like the feminists of the '60s, '70s & '80s, I'm driven by the desire for self-sufficiency and autonomy as well as achieving personal satisfaction. Yet instead of heading out to the office, I head to my garden. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"> </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">The idea of small and even urban homesteads has only grown in recent years, with women raising backyard chickens, planting gardens and learning skills that had been put to the wayside for most, like canning, spinning yarn, baking bread from scratch, etc... Various books and articles have even been written about these women, showing that most have either Masters and Doctorates but choose instead to see their workspace within the home rather than outside of it. Author Shannon Hayes even went as far as coining the term "Radical Homemaker," when explaining this phenomenon and sharing the stories of women living this life. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"> </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">This idea of radical homemaking is not just for the middle-upper class, however. Every week I head to a nearby inner city to tutor teen moms who are working towards their GED. I'm there once a week, and in the short time I spend with them, I invariably get into discussions about their food choices. Bags of Doritos, piles of Slim Jims, huge bottles of soda and fast food containers litter their desks. The girls are quick to remind me that these choices are cheap and quick. I remind them that they have access to wonderful community gardens right there in the city (and even one tended to by the program they're in). While I may not change their eating habits overnight, they do get excited about the prospect of being able to grow their own food and control that aspect of their lives - something essential for these young women, many of whom feel that their lives have spun out of control. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"> </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">As for me? While I do still work part-time, albeit from home, the rest of my time is spent with my son either in the garden or working with the bounty we reap from it. In the summer we can freshly picked strawberry jam and in the winter we bake fresh bread. It instills a sense of pride in me that I'm teaching my young son all of these tasks as well. As a feminist, ensuring that he not only knows, but appreciates and enjoys having these skills is important to me. One day, hopefully, he will be the one wowing his family with blueberry pie and homemade pretzels. For now he's just happy getting his feet dirty along with me and eating broccoli straight from the stalk. </span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitNtdz441datp_hzBlTBDDNSkt70P6N0rZNHpHfbiCdzMS4ZN9bobYuESFGCSMJ41_knMTNArUYrdpmb7C4PD4qrPJh4j02U5kbaXz7z05q9TQeNRurOLbqyViu2kU2YOng6Sa8hizrwA/s1600/P1070126.JPG%20" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitNtdz441datp_hzBlTBDDNSkt70P6N0rZNHpHfbiCdzMS4ZN9bobYuESFGCSMJ41_knMTNArUYrdpmb7C4PD4qrPJh4j02U5kbaXz7z05q9TQeNRurOLbqyViu2kU2YOng6Sa8hizrwA/s400/P1070126.JPG%20" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">EZ's dirty toes circa 2009</td></tr>
</tbody></table><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><div style="display: inline !important;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><i><br />
</i></span></span></span></div></span></i></span></i><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d;">Killer Kale</span></b></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><br />
</span></span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">This is my favorite way to eat kale (or any hardy green!). It’s both easy and super quick, making a great side to any meal. (You can also put some tofu or a fried egg on top of it and bam! - the perfect meal). It’s also pretty awesome because you can always change up the flavor profile (instead of tamari/soy sauce/sesame seeds you can use a little chili powder & cumin and add some black beans).</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"> </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">Wash and steam some kale. My favorite, which we grow in our garden, is dino kale. I don’t have a fancy steamer and instead just tear up a bunch of kale, add it to a saute pan with a bit of water and cover. Let it cook for no more than 5 minutes. You want the greens to still be a bright color and not super wilted and mushy. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"> </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">While the greens are cooking, toast a handful of sesame seeds in a wok. Add 2 teaspons of olive oil, a couple of cloves of minced garlic and a tablespoon of either tamari or soy sauce. Once the garlic is cooked through, turn off heat and mix in kale. Delish. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"> </span></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i1216.photobucket.com/albums/dd379/MondayNightMenu/photo-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="http://i1216.photobucket.com/albums/dd379/MondayNightMenu/photo-2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><br />
</span></span></span></i>A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-85288635295646275472011-08-16T09:00:00.000-04:002011-08-16T09:00:01.369-04:00This Is What A Feminist Looks Like: Ashley<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Name:</span></b> Ashley Lauren<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b>Age:</b></span> 27<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Occupation:</span></b> High School English Teacher and Freelance Writer<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Location: </span></b>Chicago, IL<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp9k_fZ5edDesQHNEoG0xFGGA1coB8EAhCcOnTNRUCiwZ9a4Qkjp8Q61sTtr8LW44vW0vldeLiuuBu0w0KthNcd8HnswBcOxSBElCvvC1ocP_z2qeslbKTr3yuYSq6eJT2ZuKsCCRYnHo/s1600/DSCN4960.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp9k_fZ5edDesQHNEoG0xFGGA1coB8EAhCcOnTNRUCiwZ9a4Qkjp8Q61sTtr8LW44vW0vldeLiuuBu0w0KthNcd8HnswBcOxSBElCvvC1ocP_z2qeslbKTr3yuYSq6eJT2ZuKsCCRYnHo/s400/DSCN4960.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ashley</td></tr>
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<i><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">How do you define feminism?</span></b></i><br />
I define feminism as women having choices, and feeling empowered to make those choices. This hasn't been radical enough for many of my feminist counterparts in some cases, but I don't necessarily think that everything you do needs to have a political motivation behind it. I think you need to critically think about the choices you are making and what they say about your beliefs, but I don't think there are "feminist choices." Some might say being a working mom, for example, is more feminist than being a stay-at-home mom, but when it comes down to it, you need to make the choices that work for you and your family, regardless of where they fall on a feminist scale. And, after weighing all the options, if you make the choice that's right for you, you've committed a feminist act. Sure, decades of feminists have fought for our right to work, be paid as much as a man, keep our names, not have children, etc. but that doesn't mean you have to do all of that just to be a feminist. (Hint: You don't need to burn your bras and hate men, either!)<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b><i>When did you first identify as a feminist?</i></b></span><br />
I think I always identified as a feminist, even though I didn't necessarily always have the vocabulary to do so. I grew up with a strong, independent mother telling me I could do anything I wanted to, and telling me to travel the world and get my PhD before I got married. That shaped the way I viewed the world and its injustices, for sure. However, I actually didn't start referring to myself as a feminist until college, and not outwardly until I started blogging a few years ago. That's when I started to acquire the language to critically analyze and discuss the injustices I saw.<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Has your (definition of) feminism changed over time? How?</span></i></b><br />
Like all good things in life, my definition of feminism has been flexible. It changes just a little bit with every life change I go through, growing to adapt to my needs. I believe that if you have a rigid definition of a belief, you'll find yourself in a place where you question that belief more often than not. Allowing your beliefs to be more malleable will allow you to shift your perspectives, which is, really, what feminism is all about.<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Have you ever experienced resistance to identifying as a feminist? If so, why do you think that is and how do you handle it?</span></i></b><br />
I have not experienced resistance to identifying as a feminist so much as I have experienced resistance to some of my more feminist actions. When I decided to keep my last name after I got married, for example, someone actually said to me, "What kind of man would let his wife do that?" I handled that the same way I handle most remarks about my feminism: With sarcasm and truth. I said: "I'm sorry, does my decision affect your delicate sensibilities about how I should lead my life?" To which he said: "Well, it's your life I guess." At that point, I just rolled my eyes, which is also something I do a lot towards resistance. Sometimes, you just can't teach an old dog new tricks. (And I have a dog, so I can tell you that's actually true. :) )<br />
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<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">What do you see as the future of feminism?</span></i></b><br />
I truly see the internet as the future of feminist communities. With the power of Twitter, Tumblr, email, and RSS feeds, we can share information at the speed of light. Sharing information is how communities are formed, and the free information out there is actually really good stuff. Blogs are mostly self-hosted and self-published, and when you self-publish, you don't have to censor yourself to appease editors or publishing companies. When you read blogs, you're getting unfiltered information (or, at least, as unfiltered as the author wants to be). That is really important when you're talking about any movement.<br />
<div><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Ashley Lauren is a 27-year-old feminist, social activist, blogger, freelance writer, and full-time high school English teacher. This stuff keeps her busy. She keeps her own blog, </span></i></span><a href="http://smallstrokesbigoaks.com/"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Small Strokes</span></i></span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">, about being a married feminist and how she navigates those murky waters. She also occasionally blogs there about teaching, because being a feminist teacher is sometimes tougher than being a feminist wife. She is also a Senior Editor for </span></i></span><a href="http://genderacrossborders.com/"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Gender Across Borders</span></i></span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">, a global feminist blog. She has walked in seven 2-day </span></i></span><a href="http://www.avonwalk.org/"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Avon Walks for Breast Cancer</span></i></span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"> with her mom, is entering her sixth year of teaching, has her Bachelors degree in English Literature and Creative Writing with a teaching certificate, and completed her masters in English Studies in May 2010. You can also follow her on </span></i></span><a href="http://twitter.com/samsanator"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Twitter</span></i></span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"> or email her at </span></i></span><a href="mailto:samsanator@gmail.com"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">samsanator (at) gmail (dot) com</span></i></span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">.</span></i></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 12pt; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</span></i></span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Times; font-style: normal; line-height: 18px; white-space: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; font-family: Times; font-style: normal; line-height: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">If you would like to participate in this series, please </span><a href="mailto:themamafesto@gmail.com"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">contact me for more details</span></span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">! </span></span></span></i></b></span></i></span></div>A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-471732748056698523.post-4672097008208791462011-08-15T10:30:00.001-04:002011-08-15T10:32:08.686-04:00This Is What A Feminist Looks Like: Lisa<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Name:</span></b> Lisa Duggan <br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Age: </span></b>45<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Occupation: </span></b>WAHmom; co-founder, publisher, <a href="http://TheParentduJour.com/">TheParentduJour.com</a>; publisher of TheMotherHoodBlog (2009-present) and prior to that, in print, <a href="http://www.themotherhoodmagazine.com/">The MotherHood Magazine</a> (2006-2008). Often found ranting on Twitter as <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/motherhoodmag">@motherhoodmag</a><br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Location: </span></b>New Jersey. Sigh.<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Any other relevant tidbits you'd care to share: </span></b>I fantasized about giving birth in the Holland Tunnel—so my daughter would have dual NY/NJ creds<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmb9lC6bBuwioremyYjyvXyNP0Ulqk23Aidnn5TkbEvLj0OIgqfcfb7chXwhBJfsHzEJYRdtsP2yvXDn5NX8X5cwOzSNptcZwbVYPCOxukziGrIflBuhuXrnoLub2rXPOWoubVPPDUoeY/s1600/My+HipstaPrint+0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmb9lC6bBuwioremyYjyvXyNP0Ulqk23Aidnn5TkbEvLj0OIgqfcfb7chXwhBJfsHzEJYRdtsP2yvXDn5NX8X5cwOzSNptcZwbVYPCOxukziGrIflBuhuXrnoLub2rXPOWoubVPPDUoeY/s320/My+HipstaPrint+0.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lisa</td></tr>
</tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;"><b><i><br />
</i></b></span><br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">How do you define feminism?</span></i></b><br />
A movement, made of people, devoted to the recognition of the financial, cultural, historical, physical and emotional burdens and limitations of being born a woman in this world, and who work to eradicate those limitations, and moreover, celebrate everything that is female.<br />
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<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">When did you first identify as a feminist?</span></i></b> <b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Has your (definition of) feminism changed over time? How?</span></i></b><br />
It was only after I became a mother that I identified as a feminist. Before that I was a mostly-secular humanist—identifying more with humanity as a whole. My activism was devoted to non-gender specific issues, like working for an AIDS organization, the New York Cares Coat Drive or joining the organic food coop. When I was pregnant, and then as a nursing mother, I started to experience the negative way, both subtle and overt, that our culture regards women and discriminates against them. I felt objectified (strangers touching my belly, brands bombarding me with mom-specific advertising); infantilized (I was treated as if I was infirm or incompetent, or both); and demoralized (my job of caregiver was viewed as less important than income earner, and therefore without economic—or any other value— and so I was not worthy of or interesting enough for a conversation with non-parents (read: former colleagues)).<br />
<br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">Have you ever experienced resistance to identifying as a feminist? If so, why do you think that is and how do you handle it?</span></i></b><br />
Yes. I experienced resistance to identifying as a feminist when I was looking over my answer to question #1, because it seemed so…extreme and um, militant. But I got over my resistance when I was writing the answer to question #2, because then I recalled all the moments when I was subject to bias. And, still am.<br />
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<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #351c75;">What do you see as the future of feminism?</span></i></b><br />
I see the face of Joe Joe, the son of my friend Cat. A former marine and police officer, she quit her career in order to raise her son. Since he was a baby in her arms, she’s been teaching Joe all that women are and can be, and how to respect and love them, and she’s teaching Joe to expect to take full responsibility for his children, emotionally and financially, when and if he has them. My daughter will marry a man like Joe and their babies will be further emancipated. They won’t believe it when we tell them that there were once places in the world women couldn’t walk.<br />
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<br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Lisa Duggan is a mother, graphic artist, writer, and the co-founder and publisher of <a href="http://TheParentduJour.com/">The Parent du Jour</a> and <a href="http://www.themotherhoodblog.com/">TheMotherhoodBlog</a>. You may also read her very, very short stories on Twitter, as <a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/motherhoodmag">@motherhoodmag</a>.</span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-style: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">If you would like to participate in this series, please </span></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-style: normal;"><a href="mailto:themamafesto@gmail.com"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">contact me for more details</span></span></b></a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black; font-style: normal;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">! </span></b></span></span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;"><br />
</span></i>A. Mamahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05137001412189392958noreply@blogger.com4