Why Men Should Support Reproductive Rights...like it ain't no thang

This couldn't be more timely. Hot on the heels of yesterday's post, comes this article by Aaron Traister, about why men should stand up for abortion rights.

Traister relays his own stories revolving around abortion - of his own mother and a past girlfriend. He goes on to share his wife's relationship with Planned Parenthood from an early age and how it affected their own relationship.

Through his own personal narratives Traister makes it perfectly clear how men are impacted by these issues and why they should care about Planned Parenthood's funding and abortion rights.

As a self-defined feminist who is raising a son, articles like Traister both excite and sadden me. Of course I'm thrilled that there are men out there advocating for reproductive rights and reminding others to do the same.

However, it bothers me that this is seen as unique and special, as something to be pointed at as a rare occurrence. While Traister should be applauded for his article and support of reproductive rights, just as anyone who supports these causes, I also wish it were more commonplace.

I wish my son was able to grow up in a time where it's not controversial or sensationalist to have a man stand up for reproductive rights, as if it's solely a fight for females. And so, in lieu of this being the case, I will work extra hard for that to be the norm for us.

Hopefully toting my son around when he was an infant, strapped to my back in his baby carrier, to all the various Planned Parenhood events and activities planted the seed, and as he grows up I will do my damnedest to nurture that seed so when he's older, supporting reproductive rights will be commonplace for him.

I Stand With Planned Parenthood

If you've read even only one other post on this blog, I don't think the above "declaration" is that much of a surprise. Everyone (at least in my circle of friends) has been up in arms since the House of Representatives voted to bar federal funding for Planned Parenthood. People are equal parts shocked, outraged and in complete disbelief over this.


I am no exception. (I'm just a mama with a son on school vacation and no time to write about it! Okay, and yes, perhaps I spent last night watching an episode of RuPaul's Drag Race once the kiddo went to bed...but can you blame me?)


My relationship with Planned Parenthood is a long one, stemming from trips to my local Planned Parenthood clinic with friends when we were in high school to helping set up appointments for my own students back when I taught high school. 


I've always been one for comprehensive sex education over abstinence-only programs in public high schools. My main reason being that, overall, abstinence-only education doesn't actually work. 

Boys Will Be Boys

My boys

The other day I found myself in the midst of a conversation with a fellow mama, because...what else is there to do while you're standing around at yet another 4 year old's birthday party?

We're both parents of young boys, and she has a newborn girl as well. We were trading "war stories" of our sons and commenting on the whole "boys will be boys" mentality. I tip toed around the issue, not wanting to start a heavy discussion revolving around how that phrase sounds awfully pigeon-holing and trite. 

Without unpacking that phrase, we both understood what it meant and the larger ramifications of it. In our society little boys will run around, shooting guns made of sticks while adults look on and shake their heads and mutter that well worn phrase. 

*My* Princess Boy

My son's best friend is a girl.

Maybe that's why he's into princess dresses.

Or...maybe it's because he likes how twirly they get when he dances or how sparkly and pretty they are.

Regardless of his reasoning, the fact remains that he's really into princesses at the moment.

A Completely Unsolicited Response

Let's ignore the fact that this blog has been more then "sleepy" lately (and just hope that fact will be remedied soon...) and get to the issue at hand.

Halloween 2008...and he *still* hasn't turned into a real bat. 

If you're one of the few people who have not had the pleasure of reading this blog post (entitled, "My Son is Gay") by NerdyAppleBottom - what are you waiting for? Go do so now...I can wait.
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Read it?

Good. Now, let's discuss.

Gimme a Head With Hair...

"Hair" and I go way back.

It all probably started when I was a wee one, not really having my own head of hair until two years old, maybe three. I look back upon my one-year old birthday pictures and see a little, mostly-bald girl in a cute dress, cake smeared all over her face.

My hair finally came in - flaxen wisps that somewhat curled when the humidity dictated it. It grew into a dark gold...thick and unruly. I have indelible memories of sitting on the floor watching television while my hair swam in de-tangling spray as a brush pulled through the snarls, tugging enough for my eyes to well up in tears. Yet, I still proudly paraded my long hair, day after day.

I'm a girl.

That is the newest phrase in our house...this week.

A few weeks ago the favorite term was "super." Everything was super.

"Ima, your shirt is super beautiful."

"I'm super tired."

"My belly is super hungry!"

You get the idea.

Every few weeks a new word or phrase weaves its way into EZ's lexicon while I smile and nod as he tests it out in his everyday speech. Eventually what starts out as sweet and amusing (I mean, who doesn't love hearing a three year old insert the term "actually" at the start of each sentence) grows almost tiresome after a few weeks of hearing it ad nauseum. And, like the good mother that I am, I tend to tune it out, until miraculously one day - *poof* - it's gone.

Yet lately, the phrase du jour has given me pause, as it is unlike any of the previous ones that have been tested and tried out by my little three and a half year old. It started off innocently enough a couple of weeks ago. We usually have a little heart to heart initiated by EZ while I put him to sleep. Normally we discuss what happened during the day or he'll remind me if something exciting is coming up on the horizon. This time was a bit different.

"Ima? You're a girl."

"Yup."

"I want to be a girl."

Naturally curious, I asked him why he wanted to be a girl.

"Girls like to go on the swings. I like to go on the swings."

In his mind it all made sense. I refrained from delving into the fact that I was pretty sure boys enjoyed swings as well, and instead made an agreeable noise. That placated him and he fell asleep minutes later.

Days past and I didn't really dwell on our conversation all that much beyond the requisite "aw, isnt this cute" posting of it on Facebook. Then, just the other day EZ let me know that...

"I'm going to be a girl now. Just pretend."

I smiled and nodded and waited for him to continue, but that was it. That was the extent of it all. Apparently, just pretending to be a girl doesn't seem to differ from being regular old EZ. He plays the same games, chooses the same books to read and still loudly proclaims his love of all things poop" and "fart." The only difference is that occasionally he'll remind me that he's a girl. It's usually prefaced with an additional reminder that I am a girl as well.

Interestingly enough, he doesn't proclaim that he's a girl when I paint his toenails or when as he dons a tank top of mine to wear as his dress while he prances around to Lady Gaga (please, no judgement, she makes laundry time slightly bearable).

Of course, in my feminist biased mind, I'm patting myself on the back for raising such an open child, one who can seamlessly flow between gender realms. In reality? I realize he's a perfectly normal toddler, experimenting with all of the new ideas and concepts he is learning. While I almost wish there was a hidden message or subtext to it all, in the grand scheme of things I feel that this is just another one of those phrases and phases he's been testing out. And in my mind...it's just super.