Handsome In...Any Color

I figured it was perfect timing for this post, especially hot on the heels of the whole "Toemageddon." In addition to allowing my son to have his nails painted, I've also been known to allow him to wear barrettes in his hair, pink clothes and even the occasional twirly skirt. *Insert shock and horror here.*

It's true...I've been known to complain about the lack of diversity in boy's clothing. I admit to sometimes leafing through catalogues, a bit envious of the color and options afforded to little girls while boys clothes don't seem to go beyond the typical jeans, sweatpants, plaids, blues & greens. While I can sometimes find a gem hidden between the racks in most big name clothing stores, it's usually more frustrating than fun.

In addition to my own desire to diversify EZ's wardrobe, I had embarked on some research for an article I wrote on gender stereotyping. I began a search for retailers that took the leap and offered clothes that just might eschew those carefully created gender boxes.

I didn't have to look too far at first. It just so happens that my own sister in law designs a children's clothing line that truly embodies the essence of being a kid without further promoting antiquated gender stereotypes.  Created with eco-friendly materials and a whole lot of love and imagination, Handfull offers a wide variety of choice, making it easy for parents of both boys and girls. There are no limits on colors or appliques, and very rarely are specific items marketed towards one particular gender.

You can be certain EZ will be rocking this shirt and I might even put in a request for a "mama size" one

Rather than being labeled by gender, the clothes are geared towards any kid with a love of color and creativity. The clothes themselves are simple, with appliques ranging from animals, nature, music, and more. There is literally something for every interest.

One of EZ's favorite sweatshirts is his Handfull banjo hoodie

Going one step further beyond simply offering an alternative choice, online store Handsome In Pink was created by two mothers, specifically in reaction to the limiting clothing choices found in mainstream retailers. Their mission statement is simple, yet seemingly profound in a time when little boys are being targeted for painting their toe nails.

 We believe that colors (such as pink and purple) and active imagery (such as firetrucks, tool belts, and electric guitars) belong to everyone and should be mingling, not dividing up along gender lines. 

Handsome In Pink certainly lives up to its ideals, offering a variety of cute onesies and shirts for  both kids and adults.

Being able to find a pink shirt with a truck on it might just be the answer for a parent who's son is super into trucks, but also loves the color pink. It's hard enough to find clothes for kids that aren't part of some overly-branded line or basically a walking advertisement for Disney and the like. To be able to find gems like these companies that sell tolerance and acceptance along with their clothes...well, that's the sort of style I dig.

Do you have a favorite retailer (both online or otherwise) that offers a choice beyond blue for boys/pink for girls?

Raise Your Hand!

How many of your Facebook friends have been admitting their hooker status lately? By my count, I have over twenty.

Sure, this latest push by Planned Parenthood for support is a little tongue-in-cheek, but it certainly gets your attention. All they had to do was use words that had been spoken against them and BAM! Instant media campaign.

This Thursday, the House and Senate will be voting on a bill that will strip Planned Parenthood from all federal funding, and they can use all the support they can muster, especially in light of all the disparaging and false remarks being spread. If you haven't already done so, please contact your representative and let them know that Planned Parenthood is more than some of the media and politicians purport it to be.

And if I can't convince you, then perhaps these gentleman can...
(Yes, gentlemen. Not so surprisingly, many men are just as pissed off over the fact that Planned Parenthood is in danger of losing funding)

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Danger: Sparkly Toes Ahead

Careful. These sparkly toes may end society as we know it.

I had a couple of other posts almost ready to toss up today...one describing a workshop I attended at the inspirational CLPP conference this past weekend, and yet another post expressing (more) outrage at the attacks against Planned Parenthood. However, those two got pushed aside when I read this article.

A week ago I posted about J. Crew and how they included a picture of a Jenna Lyons (who I've come to learn is an executive director of J. Crew!) painting her son's toenails. I mentioned how a few people on J. Crew's Facebook wall had some snarky comments, but that overall, the picture was well received.

I apparently spoke too soon.

While I'm almost hesitant to link to the Fox News article that vilifies J. Crew, Jenna, and these photos for fear of spreading these ugly untruths, I have to believe that if you're reading this blog to begin with, you're aware enough to know what is fact and what is not.

The most disheartening aspect for me is that the author of the Fox News article is a psychiatrist, and so the fear that some people might take his word as gospel is very real. The author of the article, Dr. Keith Ablow, insinuates that by allowing her son to paint his toe nails pink that Jenna Lyons is planting the seeds of gender identity confusion in her child.

That line of thinking is completely mystifying in my mind. How is allowing a boy to paint his toe nails any more confusing than allowing a girl to play with toy tools? Both actions buck the stereotypical gender norms society has become overly comfortable with, but do either really jeopardize young children's gender identity?

There were many parts of Ablow's article that caused my blood pressure to rise and see red. While many of his points incited anger, some just left me scratching my head.

The fallout is already being seen. Increasingly, girls show none of the reticence they once did to engage in early sexual relationships with boys. 

If anybody can explain to me how allowing young boys to paint their toe nails or dress up in princess costumes relates to young girls engaging in sexual relationships with boys at an earlier age, I am all ears. Ablow continues with his rhetoric, confusing me even further...

...it will be a very big deal if it turns out that neither gender is very comfortable anymore nurturing children above all else, and neither gender is motivated to rank creating a family above having great sex forever and neither gender is motivated to protect the nation by marching into combat against other men and risking their lives.

The fact that my son plays "family" and lovingly cuddles his dolls (as well as paints his nails and dresses up on occasion) actually gives me hope that he will be a loving, caring and nurturing father (if he so chooses to be one). I don't think that by allowing young children the freedom to express their creativity and imagination is going to risk the breakdown of the "great American family," nor will it diminish the numbers in our armed forces. To connect to blurring of gender lines to these issues is jumping a huge gap with very shaky support.

What pains me the most is that here is a person with a voice that reaches many and he's essentially using it to preach that "different is bad." This sentiment is incredibly scary in a time where we've seen a rash of attempted (and sadly, successful) suicides amongst teenagers because they've felt bullied for being different. While it may not be blatant, the undercurrent of bullying in the Fox News article is certainly present, and I found myself unable to stay quiet about it.

Hopefully there are those of you out there who feel the same way...that allowing a boy to paint his nails or wear a dress won't actually be the end of the world. In fact, it just might be the beginning of a better one, filled with compassion, understanding and acceptance.

Fingers & Toes

A friend recently steered me towards J.Crew's Facebook page, which had posted a link to one of their employee's "weekend pick's." It sounds innocuous enough, right? Beyond colorful cardigans and sensible slacks, what could they include that would shock a handful of people?

Apparently, the staff member in question shared some photos of her hanging out with her son and painting his nails (in hot pink no less!). There were a few comments on the Facebook page that questioned why a young boy would want his nails painted and other comments sharing their disapproval.

One thing I have learned as the mother of a four year old, is that if the kid doesn't want to do it, then it most likely isn't going to get done... and it will certainly not be done with a huge, happy smile on his face as was seen in the photograph. We can safely assume that this young boy actually wanted his toenails painted.

And after all...is that such a stretch to not only believe, but accept as well? I sat there, reading the comments and shaking my head, thinking...yes! I should blog about this. But the more I thought about it, the more my head hurt. I just don't get it. If somebody could explain it to me, I'm all ears.

The Anti-Click Click

Six years ago I found myself knee-deep in research for my masters' thesis. I had chosen to focus on the status of feminism as it related to women in their twenties. I had done my research and culled various information from previous studies and data. I had the hard facts, but what was missing were the voices.

I wanted to know more about these stark facts and figures I was reading about,  so I added an extra component to my own research - interlacing the public with the private. In addition to all of the published resources that I poured over, I also began gathering the stories of women in their twenties from all over the country.

I started out by contacting my friends. I emailed them a questionnaire and urged them to forward it along to anyone else they knew that fit into my criteria of being a. 20-29 and b. female. I also used the Internet and found myself posting my contact information all over various message boards and forums. In addition to the questionnaires, I grabbed my video camera and hit the road, traveling across the country to interview women, all because I was curious as to how the "average gal" viewed feminism.

My results were mixed.

Labels

We live in a society where people love to box others up and add labels to them for easy identifying.

Republican/Democrat

Bookworm

Feminist

Mother

Immigrant

Hippie

Middle Class

...etc...

Lock & Load

From a 2007 UK Daily Mail online article

A couple of days ago, a friend posted this as her Facebook status:


It makes me sad to see little boys who only know how to play fighting, guns, chase and whatever other aggressive tv-related things. 


Her words gave me pause. I had been mulling over something similar the past week, and only after seeing her post, did I feel prompted to want to write about them. 

I've noticed that in the last couple of months my son has been focused on gun play, and I'll be honest - it unnerves me.