Sunday, July 24, 2011

What Are The Odds?

The other week I wrote a guest post for Blue Milk's blog. I absolutely love her fresh and candid take on motherhood, and was more than thrilled to answer "10 Questions About My Feminist Parenthood."

Not only did it give me a chance to really think about my own philosophies and parenting style, but it provided some great discussion afterward (via Twitter, Google+, FB, etc...).

There was one comment on Blue Milk's blog, though, that stuck with me...

"JB" wrote:

In terms of adult men, well I have somewhat figured out a process around that with my husband, and the unpaid work I do garners a great deal of respect and appreciation, which is communicated. However everyday when I do the dishes, basically because it makes sense to (even though there is no expectation that I do it) being feminist and a mum can feel somewhat at odds!

This resonated with me, mostly because I find myself at odds with this idea as well. Not a day goes by without some small passing thought on the subject, and I think any mother - feminist or not - has to have similar thoughts...right?

Trying to come to terms with the woman you are today versus who you were, especially with the addition of a child, can be tricky. If you've decided to stay at home, there's a host of feelings that surround that. Even choosing to work and parent must come with it's own set of conflicting feelings.

Do you ever feel at odds as a parent (either as a mother/feminist or even going from non-parent to a parent)? If so, how do you negotiate it?

Some days I can simply acknowledge the thought and let it pass. Other times I spend way too much time and energy focusing on it, wondering WTF this all means anyhow and am I making the right choice? and is this what it's all about? and what if I'm just wasting away my education? and what the heck's for dinner anyway?


I'd love to know if others join me in the sometimes but not always crazy...?

1 comment:

HStrate said...

I'm with you Avital. Yes, somedays I do feel at odds...your comment about "am I wasting away my education"? I can relate to. I have realized that I can have a career, in a year, in 5 years, never... if that is what I choose, but this is my time to be a mom to young kids. I don't have my whole life to be a stay-at-home mom to my little kids. I have a window of opportunity that I am making the most of while I have it. There is truly nothing I'd rather be doing.